Sunday, March 11, 2007

Sunday afternoon with Cmdr. Cranky








We are not amused!



DAMN IT! Just decide!
Either we do this daylight saving time thing all the time, or we stay on standard time. I don't care...Just do one or the other and let that be the end of it. Better yet, ask God which one is really HIS time and that will settle it once and for all. All I know is that I'm sick of spending the better part of an afternoon changing clocks and seeing moronic feature stories on the pluses and minuses of how dark it will be tomorrow morning.
"School kids trip over still sleeping drunks while waiting for the bus...film at eleven...Or is it ten?"

While we're at it: Is anybody else picking up on the government plot to get us to hoard worthless one dollar coins? Here we go again. Who at the U.S. treasury department missed the message we sent regarding dollar coins? When was the last time you reached for a Susan B. Anthony or a Saca...Sacawhatchamahoogie...Sacajawea...(that's it!) to pay for anything? (I would have remembered the Indian babe if I still had any of those things around.)
The problem with the coins was and still IS that they are too small. Now they have presidents on the coins but they are still about the size of a quarter and we won't use them until they are at least as big as the almost non-existent fifty-cent piece. I'm sure that the government is aware of this. They want us to put them away because the treasury makes money when we don't keep them in circulation. (I wonder if the LBJ dollar will have him holding his hound dog by the ears?)

Also, as I run down my "bitch list". Where was this young genius John Cornwell when I was consuming vast quantities of a certain frothy, amber, malt beverage we like to call beer? This Duke University grad has built himself a refrigerator that can toss a can of beer to his couch with the click of a remote control. It took him about 150 hours and $400 in parts to modify a mini-fridge into a beer tossing machine. You click the remote, a small elevator inside the refrigerator lifts a beer can through a hole and loads it on to a catapult arm. A second click fires the beer up to 20 feet.
Excuse me...I'm misting up. Is this a wonderful country?!

Now, isn't it about time for a beer?
Do we spring forward or fall back? For the beer, that is.



No comments: