Has anyone else noticed that the woman, Ginny Rometty, who is the president of IBM looks like 1965 Frank Sinatra in drag? I knew she reminded me of someone every time she popped up on CNBC to be interviewed about how crappy Big Blue is doing lately. Could she be, like that twit Ronan Farrow, the product of some of Old Blue Eyes wild oats? Francis Albert did get around and Ms. Rometty could be a ring a ding offspring. Maybe if we heard her sing?
Another point to ponder is the recent revelation regarding the diet of the world's most successful investor, Warren Buffet. Turns out that the CEO stock picking genius of Berkshire Hathaway is a bit of an idiot savant. The guy can sure mine gold in the market but the the old reprobate eats like a knuckle dragging gap-toothed goober. His diet is nutritionally just south of a carnival roustabout and a Kentucky hillbilly. Throw in a moon pie and bag of peanuts and he hails from Harlan county. Check it out: He recently bragged that he consumes roughly 2700 calories a day and a quarter of this regimen includes five 12 ounce servings of Coca-Cola. Granted this certainly helps his $16 billion holdings in Coca-Cola, but can't be doing a lot for his health. Okay, so he's 84, maybe he's on to something. He does use the cokes to wash down his daily intake of a can of Utz potato stick. Maybe that's the secret? Or, is it the chocolate chip ice cream he often has for breakfast? Come to think of it, perhaps we should post a copy of the Buffett Diet at the front door of every one of those ubiquitous "health food" stores where all the skinny unhealthy looking morons in their yoga pants can read it before embarking on another safari in search of "organic, no GMOs, gluten free" crap they insist on feeding themselves. That would be even more fun than my habit of standing in the parking lot of those places telling customers that they're all going to die anyway. (Try it, it's fun.)
The "Sage of Omaha", being worth roughly eleventy bazillion dollars, is a cracker jack stock picker which leads me to believe that you and I could do nearly as well in the market by merely changing our food pyramid just a smidge. I don't know about you but my adjustment would be minimal. A switch to Coke, ice cream and potato stix from my current consumption of Dr. Pepper, dill pickles, and Fritos is definitely doable. That first bazillion is practically in the bank.
Certainly I would hope that, after assuming his diet and the success it is bound to bring, there would be no requirement of a move to Omaha when Warren checks into his pine condo. (I did mention that he's 84 didn't I?) Perhaps we should at least think about it. Though money doesn't always bring happiness it will at least help you be miserable in comfort.
Now, where's that map of Nebraska? Potato stix anyone?