Friday, November 2, 2018

Halloween and Other Stuff I Don't Understand


Several years ago I began to notice that I had practically zero recognition of the weird looking people featured on the cover of People Magazine.  Mind you I don't subscribe but merely glance at it while waiting in line at the grocery store to cough up way more scratch than I did a few years ago--okay 40-- for a couple of piddly items. (Just when did a box of Coco Puffs start costing five bucks?)  Do folks still subscribe to People?  Instead of these tattooed no names, how about a profile or three on stars like Jackie Gleason, Paul Newman, Liz Taylor or Bogey?  Oh really.  When?  
Am I getting old?

This looks too hard.
A senior jack o' lantern
I got home around 8 PM on Halloween, just in time for a few of the little candy pirates to accost me, and in a flash I came to the realization that the People Magazine conundrum has now manifested itself in kids' costumes.  Whatever happened to small fry in search of treats dressing up like Snow White, Bugs Bunny or, for the creatively challenged, a ghost?  Now the pint sized hoodlums show up as sci-fi oddballs or pop culture icons haunting me from the cover of People Magazine. It's a vicious circle!  It doesn't pay to ask a kid "who are you?", especially when it prompts an unrecognizable name or fictional character accompanied with a smug impatient look of annoyance.  "Well, you're a good one!", is about the best I can do.  

I saw no political masks this year which is probably for the best.  Likewise, no cowboys, cops, fire fighters or soldiers were on the march in my neighborhood.  In the 1950's Halloweens of my youth it seemed as if every other kid was either Roy, Dale, Zorro or, for the very cool, HOPALONG CASSIDY.

And, whether it had anything to do with Halloween or not, a few days ago six thousand of our U.S. soldiers on a NATO military exercise in Iceland pulled off a neat trick.  These military boys and girls  managed to suck down the entire supply of beer in the city of Reykjavik in just four days.  I don't know about you but that kind of American "can do" spirit leads me to believe that our young people are still capable of great things.  Reports of the troops inquiring about the whereabouts of Iceland's whiskey supply can't be confirmed, but I would like to think they asked.

Now, get your credit cards out.  There are 51 shopping days until Christmas and you know how you like to procrastinate.  If you decided to just go with cash this year, remember I'm an extra large.



Ah, capitalism!






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