Friday, September 8, 2017

Maybe Not Irma, But We Could Use A Little Breeze



Kim Jong Fatass

If that fat little North Korean psycho with the Moe Howard haircut wants to lob a dollop of Hiroshima hot sauce on us, now might be the ideal time.  With Florida about to blow away and the Pacific Northwest hidden by tons of forest fire funk there is little chance of him being able to even find us with his Korean atomic kimchi.  Add to that the fact that we're all pretty pissed off and spoiling for a good fight just to take our minds off this end of summer clearance sale on crappy weather.  Bring it on Tubby!  We'll be up your posterior with a plutonium proctoscope that will light up your pathetic province like Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Why so hostile?  Maybe it's from breathing all the smoke that has blanketed the Northwest for the past week.  I know that the situation in Florida is dire but in this neck of the woods Irma has some appeal as we breathe through our hankies.  Just a mild summer zephyr would do the trick.   Florida can keep the hurricane.

It's funny,  I spent five years in Florida during the 70's and never experienced a hurricane.  Longtime Floridians explained that they were a great excuse for a party and made it seem as if I was missing  one of the best adventures the Sunshine State had to offer.  I wonder how many are partying now?  From the looks of the lines at gas stations and northbound freeways not many are sticking around.  Let the gators and cockroaches (sorry, palmetto bugs) have it.  I'll be playing it safe here in the Idaho panhandle sucking in the rough equivalent of a carton of Lucky Strikes every day.  Bring on the fat kid!  I'm fairly certain I can take him.

Floridians gassing up to head north.
I-90 Coeur D Alene, Idaho

Still Coeur D Alene, not Gary, Indiana

At least the tourists are gone...
For those who have forgotten, it's supposed to look like this.
Your corespondent preparing for a trip downtown



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