Total Eclipse of My Interest

The last time America had this good a look at an eclipse was the year my father was born.  Even knowing that I couldn't' muster any interest in donning a pair of those goofy looking goggles to catch old Sol's dissappearing act.  Stuff like that has never interested me and coupled with the fact that local and national media morons were doing their level best to make the event seem as exciting as the invention of canned beer only made me dig my heels in.  I knew that, just like the moon landing in 1969, the event would be replayed ad nauseam  for the rest of my life.  Yes, I missed Neil Armstrong's lunar tap dance too.  In my defense--if I need one-- I was busy keeping commies out of Kansas as the Army's premier 2nd Lieutenant of the First Infantry Division.  (Okay, I WAS in the Army that summer but chose to just sleep through all that moon lunacy.  I was tired!)  Didn't miss a damn thing.

The lawn of the big Coeur D' Alene resort near my home was filled with chairs for watchers, parking lots and the beaches were loaded with people determined to waste their time looking at this enormous non event.  It was more entertaining to watch all those folks look like complete dorks as they cast their eyes skyward.  "Look, up in the sky, it's a bird it's a plane....it's a SHADOW!"  I couldn't help but wonder if any of these people questioned the true quality and safety of the "protective" cardboard framed glasses they were depending on to keep them from GOING BLIND.  Who was in charge of certifying those things??  What if they were just some old 3D glasses from one of the local movie houses that some kid was selling to take advantage of the situation?  I'm for capitalism, but come on.

At least the eclipse lookers here in the Idaho panhandle weren't dumb enough to drive a few hundred miles to Oregon for a camp out with a few thousand weirdos there to witness this celestial sideshow.  That scene looked just a tad too exuberant for my taste.  Not unlike a honeymoon night for a couple of 90 year-olds, the whole show only lasted about two minutes.  I hope they took pictures.  (In both cases.)

All things considered, aren't there far more impressive and beautiful events to see every waking day? A bumble bee, birds, rainbows or your uncle Bud picking up a check for once? 

I did snag a pair of those goofy glasses and am planning to take them to the park where I will put them on and look skyward.  It should be interesting to see how many people will try to explain that I have missed the big show. 

By the way, I have yet to watch "Gone With the Wind".  It's sort of become a "thing" with me.
Bucket list?  I don't need no stinking bucket list!

idiot encampment