Friday, January 3, 2014

Nanny State Nonsense

2014 is shaping up to be not so friendly to those of us residing in the state of California who don't respond positively to being BOSSED AROUND.  Just glancing at this morning's paper makes me wonder why anyone who values freedom and possesses a lick of common sense would continue to live in this state.  Jerry Brown and his posse of "progressive" pantloads have, as of January 1, imposed a whole new catechism of liberal do's and don'ts that take "mother may I?" to an entirely new bigtop of BS.

Beginning this year Governor Moonbeam and the state legislature have presented Californians with about 800 new laws and some of them are dumber than any lyric ever composed by the always insipid James Blunt.

For those of you wise enough to live elsewhere, here are just a few of the legislative gems we residents of the once Golden State will be forced to abide:

Henceforth motorists may order a special $50 "Snoopy" license plate to raise money for museums. (It's not required yet, but give them time.)

Motorists now must leave three feet of space when passing bicyclists.

Purchasers of rifles and shotguns will have to pass a written safety test similar to the one now required of people buying handguns.  (Yeah, that'll stop the loons.)

Hunters can no longer use lead ammunition.  (The animals will still be just as dead, but you'll feel better about it.)

Illegal immigrants are now eligible for driver's licenses, thus giving them the opportunity to be both legal and illegal at the same time.

Employers can be fined up to $10,000 and lose their business license if they report or threaten to report the nonlegal status of a worker who files a complaint over unsafe conditions or sexual harassment. (Remember, these people aren't supposed to be here in the first place.)

MY CURRENT FAVORITE:  Illegal aliens may practice law under certain conditions. This dandy bit of brain dead pandering comes to us courtesy of ASSemblywoman Lorena Gonzalez, a Democrat (naturally) of San Diego.   Of course it is still impossible for a LEGAL resident convicted of a felony to practice law in California, but logic never is a consideration in La La Land.

On the educational front…
School districts must adopt policies allowing transgender students to use the restrooms and locker facilities of their choosing, as well as play on the sports team of their choice.  Let's see a show of hands.   How many of you think this may provide just a bit of fun for teenage boys?

Homeowners whose residence is more than 20 years old will have to install low flow plumbing fixtures when they do any major remodeling.  (Just remember to flush twice!)

Mattress buyers will pay a fee to recycle their old mattress just like they do now for tires and e-waste.  (Talk about taking the fun out of mattress polo.)

Children can have more than two parents.  (Maybe at least one of them will be cool.)

Residential care facility operators must include instruction on how to help elderly residents who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.  (Excuse me, but how many people in a care facility can even FIND their fun zone let alone know which team they're on.)

And finally…
Breweries will be able to refill any consumer-provided "growler" container with beer to go, even though it may not be from that brewer.  (Okay, they made one good law.)

There you have just a few of the real beauties the state of California has decided will enhance the lives of its nearly 40 million citizens in a brand new year.  

Thanks Sacramento!  At least you've inspired this correspondent to come up with a resolution for the new year.  In 2014 I resolve to leave a smoking patch of rubber at the California state line.  If Jerry needs me, I'll be in Idaho.

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