"Sit up straight! You're slouching."
How many times did you hear that from mom? Mine even poked me in the back for emphasis.
Well, good news! Even though mom may have calmed down or perhaps assumed room temperature, there's an app to handle your posture policing. It's called LumoBack and it vibrates when your posture isn't up to mom snuff. LumoBack is free-wouldn't you know-and uses Bluetooth to communicate with a $150 sensor they'll happily sell you to get the party started. LumoBack also helpfully gathers and stores up to a month's worth of data so that you'll be able to see just how craptacular your posture has been on an extended basis. My God, if you hate yourself badly enough to want one of these, I'm sure operators are standing by to take your order.
My advice? Lie down until you come to your senses. Seriously.
It's nuts how many apps are available of late. Mention just about anything and someone will be more than happy to tell you, "there's an app for that". In taking a quick inventory of the apps I have on my phone I find that out of the forty or fifty I have downloaded I regularly use maybe three or four. The Weather Channel tells me what's happening outside, thus saving me the trouble of looking out the window or actually going outside; Bloomberg's stock ticker allows me to watch my savings go to hell in real time, Drudge lets me see what the deal really is, and TuneIn radio lets me listen to out of town pals who still manage to be employed in radio. I don't use any idiotic game apps but do confess to often employing an extremely rude bodily noise application that is just the ticket. Pure genius, that one.
On the subject of radio: I can't let the passing of Eydie Gorme go unremarked. It was my great good fortune--and I've had plenty--to wind up my career in music radio working at one of America's last adult standards stations San Diego's KPOP became history in late 2004 when aging demographics made the format a tough sale for a marketplace only interested in a younger audience. I initially took the job because, well, I needed one and had just gotten fired from the only other format I hadn't aged out of, K-BEST, the oldies station. Having subjected my ears to sixties rock n' roll when it was new and then doing time (12 years) at two oldies stations, I was up to here with the Beach Boys, Beatles, Monkees and every other band featuring dumbass lyrics and screamin' guitars. It was fun to be working at a station featuring Sinatra, Bennett, Rosie Clooney and Eydie Gorme among the many great artists. This was the kind of music that was on in my parents' house when I was a kid. I knew the station was living on borrowed time as its core audience continued to head for the cemetery, but it was fun for awhile.
Eydie Gorme was a premier vocalist, whether teamed with her husband, Steve Lawrence, or belting a ballad solo she was extraordinary. Her vocal range was astounding and her interpretation of a lyric second to none.
Do yourself a favor and listen to her version of "Shall We Dance". (may not show up on your Ipad or Iphone)
These days, she's headlining the Big Room in the Big Up Yonder. If you're good, one day you'll have a ringside seat.
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