Usually I am no fan of New Year's resolutions.
Who wants to burden themselves with a bunch of good intentions bound to make your life even more boring than it already is?
Here is a resolution I think we can all embrace and make our lives even more interesting AND America a better country.
Break more laws in 2012. That's it.
The morons in charge, especially here in Jerry Brown's California, have come up with roughly a bazillionty new laws to cramp your style for 2012 and beyond. We're not capable of taking care of ourselves, you know, and government is there to take the reins.
Beginning January 1, 2012, parents of kids up to the age of eight are required to strap said children into a car seat whenever they are in an automobile. The geniuses in Sacramento have outdone themselves on this one! Obviously they haven't scoped out a class of second graders lately. Today's eight year-olds are the size of NFL linemen and getting one into a car seat for children ranks right up there with tying a live moose to the hood of a Mini Cooper. COME ON! Maybe Governor Moonbeam would like to try taking your kid to Disneyland next time? "Hold still Tiny."
Other new laws set to make life so much better for us all include: A two-bill package that bans the sale of shark fins and forbids homeowner associations from banning electric car recharging stations. (We'll all sleep better because of those two.) Under the "Dream Act", (yes, we have that in California), illegal immigrants attending college can now apply for private financial aid. Then, starting in 2013, they can also apply for public aid, such as scholarships and fee waivers. Crime pays in the Golden State.
Other states are also interested in screwing with you. Illinois, all the problems of California bundled with corn, cows and crappy weather, will now mandate that animal control centers scanning a lost pet for a microchip also must look for other common forms of identification, including tattoos and ID tags. (Better make sure Fido has his wallet with him.)
Yes, just as it has been for the past several years, the anal retentive pinheads are in charge of your life. Until we all decide to do something about it they will continue to have us on a short leash. What we need is a honking big Bowie knife, (probably illegal), to cut us loose. How about taking your eight year-old out of that damn car seat and have him drive us to the sporting goods store. He looks big enough to handle it.
New laws...from the same dorks who gave you memos, meetings and annual reviews. It's time to run their pants up the flagpole and put the fun folks back in charge!
Who wants to burden themselves with a bunch of good intentions bound to make your life even more boring than it already is?
Here is a resolution I think we can all embrace and make our lives even more interesting AND America a better country.
Break more laws in 2012. That's it.
The morons in charge, especially here in Jerry Brown's California, have come up with roughly a bazillionty new laws to cramp your style for 2012 and beyond. We're not capable of taking care of ourselves, you know, and government is there to take the reins.
Beginning January 1, 2012, parents of kids up to the age of eight are required to strap said children into a car seat whenever they are in an automobile. The geniuses in Sacramento have outdone themselves on this one! Obviously they haven't scoped out a class of second graders lately. Today's eight year-olds are the size of NFL linemen and getting one into a car seat for children ranks right up there with tying a live moose to the hood of a Mini Cooper. COME ON! Maybe Governor Moonbeam would like to try taking your kid to Disneyland next time? "Hold still Tiny."
Other new laws set to make life so much better for us all include: A two-bill package that bans the sale of shark fins and forbids homeowner associations from banning electric car recharging stations. (We'll all sleep better because of those two.) Under the "Dream Act", (yes, we have that in California), illegal immigrants attending college can now apply for private financial aid. Then, starting in 2013, they can also apply for public aid, such as scholarships and fee waivers. Crime pays in the Golden State.
Other states are also interested in screwing with you. Illinois, all the problems of California bundled with corn, cows and crappy weather, will now mandate that animal control centers scanning a lost pet for a microchip also must look for other common forms of identification, including tattoos and ID tags. (Better make sure Fido has his wallet with him.)
Yes, just as it has been for the past several years, the anal retentive pinheads are in charge of your life. Until we all decide to do something about it they will continue to have us on a short leash. What we need is a honking big Bowie knife, (probably illegal), to cut us loose. How about taking your eight year-old out of that damn car seat and have him drive us to the sporting goods store. He looks big enough to handle it.
New laws...from the same dorks who gave you memos, meetings and annual reviews. It's time to run their pants up the flagpole and put the fun folks back in charge!
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