Friday, February 18, 2011

Wise Guy? Maybe Not So Much These Days

Like the veteran pitcher who all of a sudden has lost his fastball, I have lately noticed a marked fall off in my ability to recall perfectly useless bits of information.  Until recently I was THE MAN when bar bets were settled or long running feuds ended.  Friends could count on me to know that Gloria Winters was the original  "Babs" on TV's "Life of Riley" before she went on to fame as Uncle Sky's niece, Penny, on the "Sky King"series.  Of course 
we all know that Lugene Sanders was Babs from 1953-58.  Elementary.  Or, how about anything to do with the Three Stooges?  I have my PHD in Stooge.
Baseball trivia?  No problem.  Charlie "Paw Paw" Maxwell could always be counted on to smack a homer or two for the Detroit Tigers whenever he was in the line-up on Sundays. 
Don't ask me why, I just know that kind of stuff.  As long as it isn't useful, I WILL RECALL.  Anything important like Ohm's Law, long division, my phone number, or what I had for lunch...UH.....I'll have to get back to you on that. 

 I will confess to being more than a little concerned of late that it is taking me longer, sometimes painfully so, to haul up some of the nuggets of nonsense that hang like sleeping bats in my belfry.  Is it creeping age?  Too much input jamming the circuits?  Or, and this is the one that haunts all of us over sixty, is it the beginning of dementia?  That one keeps me awake at night.  
I'm guessing that getting older just means that it takes you a little longer to rummage around the old cranium to find things.  I know it takes me l o n g e r to engage in other activities these days; so why not mental gymnastics too?  And what is the point in worrying about it?  The Internet is ready to save the day every time I find myself going nuts trying to remember the name of some character actor who happens to be in a movie I'm watching.  (Linda never appreciates it, but I think it's more than slightly important to know that Whit Bissel was outstanding as one of the white coated scientists in The Creature From the Black Lagoon.)  Instead of "Shut up! I'm trying to watch the movie", she should be thanking me for putting her wise to one of the finest and most versatile actors of his generation.  

Well, I'm not going to get too concerned about losing some of my trivial mental agility.  There are more goofy baseball names and statistics coming my way this season and Google and the Internet Movie Database will be there to back me up when the cobwebs overtake my memory bank.  I'm not worried.
I won' t worry until I no longer can tell the difference between Three Stooges movies featuring Larry, Moe and Curly and the flicks starring Shemp.  
If that happens, put a couple of rounds in my hat.
PLEASE!

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