To Text Or Not To Text, That Is The Vexation

Didn't we get this backward?  Texting should have come before the advent of the honest to goodness telephone call, right?  Do we really need to be busting our thumbs with this modern day version of smoke signals when we have the ability to actually TALK to someone?

I tried to avoid getting sucked into this gigantic retreat to the age of the telegraph but to no avail.  It was unavoidable.  My first exposure to this nonsense was on one not so fine day a few years ago when strange words began appearing on my phone causing me to ask my late wife to please explain.  She reported that one of my daughters was texting me.  "What the hell is that," I replied full of Luddite indignation.  "Why can't she just call"?  Which, not coincidentally, remains my question to this day.

  

If we have a legitimate reason to communicate with somebody isn't the quick and easy way to accomplish this verbally? Nope, we now behave like a nation of 13 year-old girls passing notes in junior high study hall and unfortunately I have joined their club.  It's maddening but unavoidable.  "Text me" has become the communication order of the day but--and I know I'm not alone here--my thumbs and my eyes can't take much more of it.  It is dangerous to be walking around with our heads down squinting at a tiny screen as we try to compose a semi lucid message to a friend or colleague.  It's an excellent way to walk into a street lamp or, worse yet, step into traffic.  (Pedestrian injuries and deaths are up for this very reason.)  In New York City I've noticed a marked slowdown in the pace of the place as many text distracted New Yorkers no longer plow straight ahead at a clip not seen in other metros.  Now they're almost like the rest of us.  I did say "almost."  On a positive note texting does give them something to look at on the subway besides sleeping bums, crappy musicians, and panhandlers.

"Damn, I missed my stop.  I was texting!"

Texting looks to be with us for awhile and I believe I've gotten the hang of it even though I still prefer a phone call or an email.  Texting has even made me a better speller thanks to that pesky auto correct, though an upgrade in the cuss words department would be helpful.  It really gets interesting when you employ that deal where you just yell at your phone and magically your words are converted to text.  The genie inside my phone NEVER gets that right! She probably went to school with SIRI.

In the meantime, if you need me, buzz me up, or, better yet, pass me a note in study hall. Coach Cook isn't looking, he's busy texting

"Hey guys, the light has been green for ten minutes."