Big News You May Have Missed

Sad news out of Germany this week as one of the world's last flea circuses was wiped out by freezing temperatures.  According to the BBC,  a troupe of 300 tiny blood sucking performers went to that big dog pound in the sky after an especially chilly night that left circus owner Robert Birk in a "very difficult moment".  A university bug expert, Professor Heinz Mehlhorn, has helped by providing 60 new fleas for Mr. Birk to train.  Frankly, I always thought a flea circus wasn't real.  However, there is a You Tube video showing that fleas can be "trained" by carefully tying thin gold wires around their necks.  Perhaps there are myriad new job opportunities for flea wranglers?  Welcome news after today's dismal jobs numbers.   If you have a dog you may already be rich!

Itchy, Scratchy and Pee Wee get ready for the Ben Hur number

Let's see some ID grandma!

I first encountered it at the old Kingdome in Seattle in the early 80's, but now it's everywhere.  They call it universal carding and it is either flattering or a pain in the ass depending on how you look at it.  Stadiums, bars and many other venues that dispense alcohol are implementing a policy requiring all customers to present proof that they are old enough to buy a drink of genuine rectified bust head.  The point is to eliminate the guesswork and any liability incurred by serving the under aged.  This, of course, slows up service for everybody and demonstrates one more time just how dumb we have become as a nation.  We can ask some wrinkled, white-haired 96 year-old for identification when he or she bellys up to the bar for refreshment but can't require proof of citizenship to vote in an election.  This explains a great deal about the quality of our chosen leaders.   Here's an idea:  Make all voters consume a few wobbly pops before voting.  What have we got to lose?

From the "I knew it all along" file…

New research has uncovered the startling fact that a microorganism which colonizes in the digestive tract of overweight people creates elevated levels of hydrogen and methane in their bodies.  Proving once again that parents would be wise to warn their children to refuse fat Uncle Louie's annual holiday invitation to pull his finger.  

DANGER! Hydrogen/ Methane bomb on board!!