Wait A Minute...

What the?
That wasn't supposed to be there.  The sun, I mean.
Son of a bitch!  We're still here.  The dumb ass Mayans got it wrong!
This changes everything.  I hadn't planned on doomsday crapping out like this.

 It is December 21, 2012 isn't it?

Heck, the Mayans figured we didn't even need a good calendar from here to eternity.  The world was supposed to be blown to hell somewhere around the stroke of midnight.  Or, was it later?  I can't keep track of the petty details but there was supposed to be some mondo grondo asteroid out there hiding behind the sun that  had "Smoosh the earthlings" written all over it.

Didn't happen.

Dammit!  Now I have to hurry up and do some Christmas shopping.  And, OOPS, it looks like some of those checks I plopped in the mail two days ago are certain to be bum readers.   (It's the thought that counts anyway.)  Perhaps that week in Vegas working on my Blackjack system was an ill considered business venture.

Hmmm……what to do?  I guess I could start with a few apologetic phone calls to some of the folks I decided to tell off last week.  Nah, I quit caring what anybody thought several years ago.  Maybe it's time to learn a foreign language?  No.  Someone has to be the ugly American and,  since Archie Bunker is no longer available, it's an easy fit for yours truly.

UPDATE:  It looks like the sun is setting.  Time to make it official.  The world did NOT end today.  Let's all start planning for 2013.  Think of all the goodies we have to look forward to:  Spring training, March Madness, the Super Bowl, the swallows returning to my eaves, cleaning up swallow poop, another year of reality TV, higher taxes, Lady Gaga, Nancy Pelosi, more taxes, smog inspections, fading tattoos on aging gen-Xers, and no Twinkies.  Did I mention higher taxes and Nancy Pelosi?

Where is that freaking asteroid??!!