Women want guys to dress like the handsome singing cowboy.
You know, Roy Rogers or Gene Autry attire. They like their men to be well pressed and nicely combed and it wouldn't hurt if they were good smellin' too.
Most of us of the male persuasion, however, prefer to be comfortable and ready for action--primitively decked out for either battle or the quick roll in the hay whichever comes first. Besides that, the only songs we like to sing involve truck driving and drinking beer, neither of which do much for the fair sex. "I'm a wheelin' dealin' kid stealin' truck drivin' son-of-a-gun", to quote the great Dave Dudley.
This all dates back to cave man days when men would put on animal heads or face paint to scare off the dirtbags from other tribes. Now, of course, we use either threads from the bargain bin at Wal Mart or, better yet, GOLF CLOTHING. I have a brother-in-law who is a master of the "white man as pimp" scary golf get-up. For this essay he shall remain anonymous. But trust me...nobody is better than BOB when it comes to putting together a hideous golf combination. It's pure genius!
So I say to my brothers everywhere, "Let the word go forth...get in touch with your inner Walter Brennan." "Embrace the Goober or Bluto that is YOU!" "You have nothing to lose but some num nums from your main squeeze!"
Which one of these lids do you think goes with my Bart Simpson tie?
1 comment:
Goober says "Judy, Judy, Judy!" (I understand that this was not part of his "Mayberry" script, but was an ad lib on his part, which purportedly infuriated Andy Griffith -- but I digress). Hey, Mr. Golf fashion, your wife calls.
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