(Morgantown, West Virginia...)
Well, you knew it had to happen sooner or later. A young man from Morgantown is suing the McDonald's corporation for trying to kill him with one of their Quarter Pounders.
It seems that Jeromy (It's so hard to spell it the right way.) Jackson ordered a couple those hard to resist Golden Arches gut bombs and the cheese in them nearly killed him. Here is how it apparently transpired: Jeromy ordered two McDee's Quarter Pounders without cheese because he is allergic to the lip smacking good bovine slice of yellow heaven. What he got was the usual Quarter Pounder with cheese. Now, maybe I'm being overly critical, but wouldn't most of us notice a slice or two of cheesy goodness sticking out of the hamburger bun? And, as long as I am breaking Jeromy's man marbles, wouldn't a person lift up the bun to check for cheese if he knew it might...uh...KILL HIM???
His mother, Trela Jackson, and friend Andrew Ellifritz are also suing McDonald's because they "risked their lives" rushing this idiot to the hospital. The lawsuit seeks damages on two counts of negligence, one count of emotional distress, and one count of punitive damages.
Numbnuts news will keep you updated on this story as it develops. I'm sure we're all interested in knowing if the court system in the state of West Virginia is as inbred as we suspect.
Another story we are following is the saga of a Seattle woman who attacked a karaoke singer who was belting out some pap made popular by the group Coldplay. It seems that the woman began screaming "You suck" as the man sang last Thursday night. Later she punched the offending balladeer to get him to stop singing.
"It took three or four of us to hold her down," said bartender Robert Willmette. The woman was eventually booked into King County jail for investigation of assault.
Frankly, I believe this great American deserves to be awarded the Medal of Honor. She has struck a blow to eradicate one of the worst cultural phenomenas ever inflicted on this country by Japan.
NO KARAOKE should have been one of the conditions of surrender when we settled up with Japan after waxing their ass in The Big One.
These guys? I know I speak for all right thinking Americans when I say to them: SHUT UP!!
FOR GODSAKE JUST SHUT UP!!
1 comment:
Uncle Ken
Just a reminder that your Grand Nephew name is spelled Jeramy. Robin and I used phonics the California education push in those years. Ah well 22 years ago we thought it was right and Jeramy seems happy as well.
Mike Buckingham
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