We Gotta Get That Here!

Make way...old guy coming' through!

They have this deal in Brazil that is absolutely the greatest invention since canned beer.  If you are a citizen of that banana republic,  a fairly recent law requires all private businesses and government facilities to provide immediate and differentiated attention to people aged 60 and over.  If not in compliance, a company or government agency can be fined something like $750 (or a bazillionty brazilions in Brazilian currency) for each screw up.  

In other words, OLD CATS GET CUTS!  If you're 60 or older you can walk into a bank or any place of business and, upon spotting a line, simply stride to the front of the queue and say, "excuse me, I'm next."  No lie!  It's the best geezer benefit this side of the senior discount at the movies.  Maybe we could get that  law passed here before the next Star Wars hits the multiplex?  Imagine how much fun it would be to cut in front of all those candy ass millennials as you score a senior discounted seat.  Sweet!  Maybe we could even corner the market on popcorn and Good N' Plenty.

As it is with all dictates, there are some who are angered by the new law.  A bar owner in Fortaleza says that he is bothered by the guys he considers able-bodied seniors with "dyed hair and a pocket full of Viagra" cutting in front of the rest of his customers.  He also says the law has turned his mother-in-law into a megalomaniac.  Get over it junior!

I say we seniors start making some demands of our elected or soon to be elected officials.  Any one of the clowns currently begging for our support should promise to get this done for us ASAP.  (We're not getting any younger ya' know.)  It would be the ultimate way to get back at our kids.  "Keep working, fruit of my loins, mom and pop don't need to be standing in any lines."  "Thanks for the Social Security and that Medicare freebie, now STAND BACK GRAMPS IS COMIN' THROUGH!"

First one of you political polecats to ram this one home gets my vote and a case of Depends.

"Hey you kids, get off of my lawn!"