Cultural Icons Take A Hit

Every once in awhile it hits me just how far into the porcelain facility we have sunk. Last weekend my wife and I were watching a wonderful old movie from 1943, Mr. Lucky, which featured the always classy Cary Grant and the lovely Laraine Day.


Naturally, the production values weren't much by today's standards. The story was straight-forward and unabashedly patriotic. It was, after all, 1943. We were the good guys and America was cool.



Watching Mr. Lucky was exactly what I needed after scanning a very disturbing item in the San Diego Union-Tribune. It was a story that featured yet again way too much information about a show business "D" lister who just won't GO AWAY. Jessica Simpson, a singer? actress? of some notoriety announced on the Ellen De Generes Show that she only brushes her teeth "maybe three times a week".
Eeewwww!
When asked why she didn't brush more often, she responded: "Because my teeth are so white and I don't like them to feel too slippery, but I do use Listerine and I do floss every day. But, I don't brush them every day. I'll use a shirt or something."
"I know it's gross, but I always have fresh breath. It's really weird, but I have great breath."
Uh.......Jessica, LET US BE THE JUDGE OF THAT. In fact, typhoid Mary, why don't you give us your current boyfriend's phone number? Oh? What's that? YOU DON'T HAVE ONE??!! The only way I'd be kissing this walking case of gingivitis is through a strainer. UGH!! You can bet your last dollar that, were she still around, I'd gladly play tonsil hocky with Laraine Day. Undoubtedly, she brushed her teeth several times every day, especially when she was on the set with Cary Grant. (It should be noted that her mouth likely lost the Good Housekeeping seal of approval when she later married Leo "The Lip" Durocher.)




(pictured: recent close up of Jessica Simpson)

Also, more recent evidence of our cultural demise is the news that Bill Clinton is losing weight. It seems that the former White House puffball has promised his daughter, Chelsea, that he would lose 15 pounds in advance of her Summer wedding . She is reported to have said, "Look Dad, the only thing you gotta do is walk me down the aisle, and you need to look good." Mr. Clinton has reported to this blog that he is "halfway home" in reaching the 15 pounds down mark. Ditching his shoes and pants seems to have turned the tide. (See the pantless pantload pictured here.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I hear my toothbrush calling.