Introducing...Dumbass Duncan and His Brother Delbert!

What??!!

They couldn't rustle up a couple of good looking babes?

The Everly Brothers weren't available?

What in the name of Paddington Bear were the Olympic organizers thinking when they came up with these two amorphous blobs as the mascots of the 2012 Olympics? Holy crap!!

Aren't the Olympics torture enough to watch? Now we're asked to look at these two sperm bank rejects for the next two years as we tingle with anticipation of endless hours of competition absolutely nobody cares about. Perhaps the committee was putting away a few "practice" shots ahead of the shot put throw down two years hence?

Whatever...

Wenlock and Mandeville, yes those are the names of these two one-eyed amoebas, are ready to be "interactive" with all the little tykes as the London Olympics draw near.

"Kids don't want cuddly toys", said Sabastian Coe, head of the organizing committee.

Really??

Checked with my grandson lately?

Obviously nitwits are once again in charge of the show.

This mascot creepshow got its start back in 1992 when the geniuses running the Barcelona games came up with a wacky dog named Cobi who looked like a cross between a runny nose and an explosion in an art gallery.

Dumber than drywall, man.
I hope I'm not being too critical of Wenlock and Mandeville. Perhaps they will grow on me, or maybe I will scrape them off my shoe.

In the days when I used to "touch the stuff", there were many magnificent ideas that looked good "in committee" (see photo), but fell by the wayside upon review the following morning.

So, for now, I'm going to give the Olympic committee the benefit of the doubt. If they choose to fly the freak flag with the bastard kids of the Pillsbury Doughboy that'll be just fine. I won't be watching anyway.

For Wenlock and Mandeville I have this advice: Always remember that ninety percent of success in anything is simply looking good. At least that's what the skinniest kid at fat camp told me.

Let the games begin!