OPEN WIDE...It's time to check the weather

Just to make conversation, which is difficult when you're getting your teeth cleaned, I asked my dental hygienist a potentially expensive question.
"Alex, is it normal for the crowns I have on my pearly whites to sometimes feel like there is a party going on inside them?" She didn't miss a beat as she continued to chisel the plaque...
"Absolutely," she declared.
"Lots of people notice a change of pressure in their dental work when they are in an airplane or even when there is a change in local barometric readings."
"Son-of-gun...my own NOAA weather station right inside my mouth," I thought.
I'm not so much taking care of dental hygiene when I visit the dentist...I'm investing in a very reliable weather prognostication system.
What a relief! No more watching the Weather Channel which daily proves that there is indeed a bottom-of-the-barrel to be reached in the nation's ready supply of TV anchor material. All I need do now is consult my molars when planning an outing.
Hmmm. There seems to be a bubbly thing going on under that bi-cuspid; we'd better forgo that trip to see the in-laws. Try this with your dental work! I'm betting that you'll soon be a believer. It would appear that listening to your body is the key to a long and healthy life.

This just in: My mouth is sensing a Pacific high heading toward this area sometime tomorrow. And, judging by the pain in my ass, I am also predicting fourteen months of incessant political B.S. heading toward ALL of us.

Kill me NOW!