The End is Near

"At the tone the time will be...8...43...and 50 seconds."

How many times did we call AT&T's Joanne Daniels to hear her nasally old bag voice tell us just what the hell time it was? Truthfully, for most of us we NEVER called her for a time check. We dialed her number to fake out somebody nearby:
"Hello, boss?"
"Hey...I'm wondering if I can get out of working this week-end?"
"My neighbors need me to help them move...What? OH, I see...very
important that I be there."
"Okay...I understand. I'll be there.".........at the tone, 2...57... and
twenty seconds.

Let's face it. The time lady was one handy dame to have around. Now, as of September 19, she will no longer be available in the state of California. Supposedly, by discontinuing the time calls in California, the phone company will gain 300,000 new phone numbers previously reserved for the service. Other states lose the time lady on the same date or shortly thereafter.
Who ya gonna call???

Other signs that the END IS NEAR:

Remember when the great athlete Jesse Owens was revered for giving Hitler the ultimate "up yours" at the Olympics? A world class runner making the U.S.A. proud by accomplishing something no other athlete could.
Now, we have the likes of Joey Chestnut taking bows for jamming enough wieners in him to feed a third world country. And, let's not forget the latest crowning achievements of the "Black Widow", Sonya Thomas the 105 pound woman who just the other day scarfed 173 hot chicken wings at the National Buffalo Wing Festival in Buffalo, New York.
She holds competitive eating records for several events including: 35 bratwursts in 10 minutes, 11 pounds of cheesecake in 9 minutes, 44 lobsters in 12 minutes, (I'll bet she didn't eat the guts!) 250 Tater Tots in 5 minutes, over 8 pounds of Vienna sausages in 10 minutes, and my personal favorite...8.4 pounds of BAKED BEANS in 2.47 minutes! (And we're worried about North Korea have the bomb????)
Mmm Mmm EXPLOSIVE!

The largest untapped pocket of natural gas known to man.