Stupor Bowl LIII

Football's village idiot

Thank God this thing will be over on Sunday.  The "BIG GAME" we all feel compelled to watch   will feature at least one team that doesn't deserve to be there and the idiot NFL commissioner, Roger-Who Dat?- Goodell seems not to care.  With a shrug and his typical deer in the headlights gawk old Roger acknowledged that NFL referees don't always make the correct call.  Or, for that matter, in the case of pass interference two weeks ago in New Orleans, any call at all.  The Saints were robbed in broad daylight in front of thousands of NOLA inebriates and millions of mostly likewise "well oiled" fans watching at home.

The fat cat team owners pay this dunce $40 million dollars a year for a job requiring little more than  handing out a few fines, showing up at team parties, schmoozing the owner's and drinking their booze.  He also gets to look like a dork while awarding trophies, a task at which he excels.  God forbid he should do something useful like getting rid of that stupid Super Bowl roman numeral nonsense. What the hell number is LIII anyway??  How uselessly pretentious!  (Okay, I was asleep when we covered that in school.)

 Since the Wienermobile job fell through,  I'd like to offer that I'd be more than willing to take Roger's job for $4 million per year and would volunteer to detail the owners' cars twice monthly.   On further consideration, I would jack that up to $10 million if I had to do L.A. Chargers owner Dean Spano's ride.  (The man is a piping hot talking pile of pig flop.  Flies swarm at the mention of his name.)

It's not unusual to see idiots like Roger in positions of great authority.  I witnessed more than a few colossal management dummies in the broadcast business who, in spite of repeated failures, always wound up getting good jobs they couldn't handle.  Perhaps, like those folks, Goodell is dazzling when interviewing for a position.  Nah, that can't be it  The guy looks to be a walking talking sedative.  In fact, Jason Gay, a very talented writer who covers sports for the Wall Street Journal, called Goodell's Wednesday State of the League address "about as exciting as listening to someone tell you how build your own clock radio." I do believe that captures the essence of the man.  My idea of hell would be standing between Roger Goodell and Al Gore at a cocktail party holding only an empty glass.  BARTENDER!!!

So, enjoy the game.  We can all hope that it will be a good one, though giving the points and taking the Patriots seems to be almost too easy.    How about placing a bet on the clown prince of the NFL dropping the Lombardi trophy?  For $40 million per year and lifetime use of a private jet he has fumbled pretty much everything else.  Put me down for a C note that he does.

"Hi, I'm Roger and this is my IQ.