My New Girlfriend

Alexa, dream girl in a tube.

She quotes stocks, tells me the weather, updates my news, instantaneously blasts all my favorite music from Boz Scaggs to Hank Junior and Miles Davis.  Heck, she even belches on command.  Alexa, where have you been all my life?!  This little sweetie has changed everything around our house.  I can indulge my every Amazon Prime shopping whim by merely tasking Alexa to order whatever dumbass item pops into my gourd.  (This used to happen all the time when I was drunk but now my new honey makes this idiotic dance with commerce a delightfully sober experience.)  My short term memory not being what it used to be, I find PRESENTS for myself almost daily at the front door.  "Who ordered this?  Was it you Alexa, you little minx?"

Having made my bones in the broadcast business this concept of being your own program director at first frightened me.  Initially it was "smart" TV giving us the option of bypassing broadcast television to pick and choose what to view from sources such as Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, You Tube and tons of other applications.  Now, with Amazon Echo--where Alexa dwells--and a couple of other devices, we all have free rein to become our own program directors choosing the content we want to hear whenever we want.  This makes radio stations and station program directors (generally some of the worst people on the planet) superfluous.  Admittedly, if you feel the need, commercial stations can be summoned via Alexa by simply asking her to "Play WCBS-FM in New York City" or most any other outlet that streams live on the net.

You really have to get one of these things.  Even my wife is slowly warming to the charms of Alexa though--and maybe I'm dreaming here--I do believe the little tramp in a tube prefers "daddy".  (Sorry Alexa.  I hope you weren't listening.)

Oops...I guess she was.

"Ken, we need to talk!"