Just Want to Cuddle? Shut Up!

"Let's just cuddle."

So now we have professional cuddle-for-hire services?

What the hell has happened to this once dynamic hard charging country of ours?

Apparently it is now possible to "just cuddle" with a paid provider for somewhere in the $80 per hour price range.  The thousands of not so red blooded Americans who get sucked into this nonsense are told to keep it strictly platonic and to keep tickling to a minimum.  

Naturally this service enjoys much popularity in parts of the country like Portland, Oregon and Madison , Wisconsin where sentimentality and symbolism rein and granola is a religion.  

"Aw come on.  How about a little lip lock?"

Guys who fought at Normandy and Iwo Jima must be thrilled that they saved the world for cuddling.  "For eighty bucks their was a lady in Palermo who'd take ya around the world and fix ya breakfast in the morning!"

We have become a nation of PC wimps.  Today's Americans are afraid of speaking their mind and demanding their moneys worth.  The country needs a good "talking to" and I have just the guy for it.  My longtime buddy Doug Steckler has been pissed off and yelling at just about everyone and everything for years.  Steck has been laying into the hopeless buffoons and liberal loons for all of the nearly fifty years I've known him.  His tirades are an unforgettable thing of beauty and memorable wonders to behold.  (Warning:  it's wise to stand back if he gets started on millennials and their smart phones.)

Steckler made his bones writing for TV and was instrumental in NBC's cutting edge comedy, SCTV.  These days he is mostly retired but spends every Friday evening alongside Tim Conway Jr. taking apart just about all the stuff they find unworthy. (Everything)

You can catch them on the web via streaming on the KFI/ Los Angeles website.

Which reminds me that I haven't checked in with Doug in a couple of weeks.  I wonder if he knows about the epidemic of candy ass cuddling that is sweeping the liberal sinkholes of America?

I'm going to call him right now.  This should be good.

Tim Conway Jr. & Doug "Mad Dog" Steckler