Sriracha! The Ring of FIRE!

California, the state that can't chase off businesses fast enough, is at it again.  Well, more specifically, the Southern California city of Irwindale which orbits the cesspool of greater Los Angeles is at it this time.  The town council of this nondescript collection of warehouses, parking lots and zero charm has declared the factory that produces the delicious red lead that is Sriracha sauce a public nuisance.  This past Wednesday night the city gave Sriracha's owners, Huy Fong Foods, 90 days to make changes to their heavenly nectar's production process or CLOSE DOWN.  Apparently the candy ass citizens of this civic grease spot on the map of the formerly Golden State are complaining of spicy odors from the grinding of red hot chili peppers that sting their eyes, give them headaches, and prodigious coughing fits.  Irwindale has now gone completely bananas and called in the dogs of the South Coast Air Quality Management District.

What?!  Double secret probation?!

Who cares?  The stuff is flat out nectareous and, like Superman, able to leap tall helpings of bland culinary blandishments to render them, uhh….downright edible.  Heck, you can put the red napalm on everything from a boring casserole your aunt dropped off to leftover Army C-rats and your tongue will be sending you a thank-you note while your tummy says "howdy" to a new found friend.  It's magic!

 Huy Fong Foods, the maker of Sriracha, was founded by David Tran, a Vietnamese immigrant, who grew weary of mixing his delightful sauce at home in a bucket.  He began making his creation in 1980 and two years ago had enough money to open a $40 million plant in the aforementioned Irwindale, a burg of roughly 1400 residents.  Mr. Tran personifies the American Dream lived out loud.  Last year the company, which now employs 60 people year-round and another 200 during the peak of pepper-grinding season, did about $85 million in revenue last year.  Nothing to sneeze at.  Oops, sorry Irwindale.

As a huge fan of Sriracha--frankly it's an addiction--I am today proposing that our phony baloney legislature simply write a few thousand checks to buy off the unenlightened of Irwindale.  Sure the state has no money, but that has never stopped us before.  Let Jerry Brown (Yep, him again) and the rest of the "money is no object" boys and girls in Sacramento load the folks of Irwindale down with a lifetime supply of Kleenex and Claritin and leave the bill to the grandkids.  It's solid "let the bottom line be damned" California financial planning.

So, the clock is now running on the Sriracha factory problem.  Will the residents of Irwindale, gateway to Azusa, shut up and nut up for the sake of their one and only touchstone of civic pride?  Or, will they wuss out, close down the plant and invite the wrath of millions of flaming Sriracha addicts bent of a revenge of FIRE?  Tick toc…

I would remind Irwinalians of an ancient Vietnamese proverb:

"Life is not a bowl of cherries.  Life is a bowl of hot chilis.  What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow."