Getting Slathered In Sleepy Eye

Fitness?? Who are they kidding?

I was pretty sure it was Sherburn, but it wasn't.  It was Sleepy Eye, Minnesota where we saw the banners draped across the main drag.  They tauted Buttered Corn Days coming the very next week in this corn belt crossroads.  My pal, The Skipper, and I were returning to Minneapolis after spending a few days at our fortieth high school reunion in Spencer, Iowa back in 2006.  We had concocted a plan to meet at the Twin Cities airport the week before, I flew in from San Diego and he from Boston.  It was a good plan. After checking out the mens room stall where that congressman from Idaho or Montana had been arrested the week before for having a "wide stance", we rented a car, headed south, visited the Spam Museum in Austin, sponged off his brother in Clear Lake for a couple of days and then, well rested, headed for the meet-up with everyone else who was now forty years older and fifty-thousand brain cells lighter.

The reunion went off perfectly.  Well, it was perfect except for the fact that many of our former cellmates from the penitentiary we called Spencer High School had not shown up.  They sent their parents instead.  At least it seemed that way.  Of course Dave, (the Skipper's given name) and I hadn't changed a bit and were cackling like a couple of escapees from the laughing academy as we contemplated the decay of old friends while we drove north headed for Minneapolis/St. Paul and a return to our post high school lives.

The "Buttered Corn Days" celebration was not in our plans.  Heck, we didn't even know it existed until we rolled into Sleepy Eye.  We briefly toyed with the idea of phoning our wives and extending our road trip in order to indulge our taste for sweet corn and that yummy Minnesota butter, but decided against it after weighing the cost of divorce.  Instead we decided that a Buttered Corn Days debauch would make a remarkably terrific bonus side trip package to accompany our fiftieth high school reunion.  And, right now---that's the plan.  It's dandy really.  We tack a couple of extra days on to the trip and-- bingo, we're knee deep in buttered corn and polka music.  I checked the Internet and saw that the Sleepy Eye town fathers have booked at least two polka bands for this year's event.  (By the way, it is still ON for this year in spite of the devastating draught that has ruined at least half of the Midwest corn crop.)  You can check the Internet for details.  Buttered Corn Days runs from August 17 through the 18th.  There is even a fun run.  Yeah, just what you want to participate in after gnawing on thirty ears of corn.

I'm hoping for a bumper crop of golden corn deliciousness in 2016.  The Skipper and I have plenty of Hawaiian shirts and will pack lots of "fat boy" pants to accommodate our expanding girth.  It should be a grand old middle America pig down for two deserving boys from the corn belt.  (Speaking of belts, I won't pack one.)

The "Land of 10,000 Lakes"?  How about the "Land of 10,000 Ears of Corn"?  My tummy is already saying HOWDY.  Lookout Sleepy Eye, two heavy hitters from the coast are ready to change Buttered Corn Days forever.   We plan to eat like we're going to The Chair.