Studies: The Good, the Bad and the Cuddly

Good news for teenage boys!

Just in time for Springtime courtin' and sparkin' comes a brand new research report from Alvarado Hospital  right here in Mr. Copper's home town of San Diego.  Apparently, (drum roll), SEX IS GOOD FOR YOU!  Yep, according to Irwin Goldstein, a urologist and editor in chief of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, there is now evidence of benefits--beyond producing a baby--to whoopee.  "When you have good sex, there is a relaxation response...you lie there and life is great, " says the good doctor who is also the director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital.  The research goes on to report that sex also increases oxytocin, known as the "cuddle hormone," which promotes bonding, reduces fear and stimulates endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, which is why sex can also bring temporary relief from back pain, migraines and other body aches.

OH DOCTOR!!

Where were you when I was seventeen??

This is pure gold when it comes to hormonal salesmanship for young men everywhere.  "It's not only fun, darlin', it's also GOOD for you."

So much for the good studies.

Leave it to the killjoys at the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health to rain on the good time freak parade.  These poindexters have recently concluded that if you own a convertible you should never drive it with the top down.  

WHAT????

Everyone should have a convertible!  And, the top should always be DOWN!  I will allow a brief period of "top up" for those of you residing in states north of Kansas during the months of January and February, but that's it.  How else can you look cool behind the wheel of your latest sled?  I have owned a ragtop ever since leaving home in 1966.  The first one was a dandy 1963 Ford Galaxie 500 XL that would occasionally start and frequently broke down, but damn I looked good driving it.  After all, it doesn't matter if you get there just as long as you look good doing it.  I have owned many delightful convertibles since that time but often bask in the memories of youthful indiscretions supported by that ever faithful 500XL.  

(Cue the Johnny Mathis music...up and under.)

Now, where was I?  Oh yes, the nerds at the NIOSH have concluded a study, (Hey! Knock it off with the studies!), that found noise levels in convertibles were above 85 decibels when the top was down and the car was traveling 55 mph or faster.  At 75 mph, the decibel level jumped to 89.9.   Researchers also noted that with the top down, convertibles expose occupants to "noise spikes" from horns, motorcycle mufflers and truck engines.

To all of this I say, "HUH?" and "Who cares!?"

If the noise bothers you, turn up the radio and always keep the speedometer above 85.

Pure sex 1963 style

Grab your coat!  We're firing up the old chick magnet for a trip to the drive-in.  There are some ladies who really need to take a look at this new study from Alvarado Hospital.