Moms Rule!

Dads don't really have a chance.  In the parent popularity poll dad always comes in a distant second to mom.  Face it, for most kids--okay boys--early childhood relations with the old man go something like this:

"This is for your own good!"

SPANK

"I told you never to  (insert latest infraction here)  and you knew it!"

SPANK

"Now you've made your mother cry." (translation: no num nums for daddy tonight.)

SPANK

SPANK

SPANK!

"Are we gonna have to send you to reform school??!!"

SPANK

"No TV or movies for you for a month."

SPANK

SPANK

"Don't give me that look!"

SPANK

"Go to your room and think about what you did.  Hey, wait a minute.  Get me a Falstaff, the White Sox are comin' on TV."

"You know this hurt me more than it hurt you."  

(For the record, I never bought that one.)

It's all part of that division of family chores.  Mom gets to tell you how great you are and dad is the cop on the beat who dishes out appropriate punishment for all those things you do that aren't so great.

Mom is the one who tells you you're wonderful and that, " Daddy is just a little gruff because of things happening at work."  She knows it's bullshit, but she tries to sell it anyway.

In a nutshell this is why Mother's Day happens in May and Father's Day is in June.   We spend all our money on mom and are assured that when his day rolls around dad will get just what he wants...

NOTHING.

Dad, when you ask him, never wants anything for Father's Day and that's the way it should be.  After all, what has he done besides make you behave? 

Okay, maybe he taught you how to fake contrition and sincerity; also how to get around mom.  But other than that?   Nada.

So, do your best to show mom a good time this Mother's Day and blow all your money on flowers, candy and other doodads.  (If you're still south of twelve years old you can probably get away with one of those macaroni art projects, but don't push it.)  Dad will be just fine with the usual lame-o non gift on his day.  Maybe a refill of Old Spice from the grocery store or, better yet, while you're up grab him a Falstaff.
The game will be on in a couple of minutes.

Crap like this makes mom rave about your genius

Dad sees this and knows you're an idiot.  Mom spends $100 on a frame.