Stink Bugs and Stinky Inky Ideas

Now it's not just a bedbug invasion to worry about.

Apparently the Middle Atlantic states are up to their Middle Atlantic asses in stink bugs.  The funny thing, at least to me, is that these particular stink bugs look nothing like what passes for stink bugs in California.  They don't even smell the same!  Out here we have these semi nasty looking hard shelled creepy crawlers that stink like last week's garbage when you step on them.  Their stinky Middle Atlantic cousins appear to be brown with some kind of knight's shield pattern  on them and they emit a pungent odor often described as "skunklike" by folks administering a size ten.  The east coast stinkers also have an appetite for things like apples, grapes, and tomatoes instead of the leftover pizza preferred by their California counterparts.    Anyway, several universities and the federal government are working on how to best handle the situation and, I fear, will get back to us shortly with how much we need to fork over to adios these hard shelled freeloaders.  (The treasury is just a little low right now, maybe you've heard.)

Perhaps an early hard freeze in the old mid Atlantic will buy us all a little time.  This blog will stay on top of breaking developments.  (Team coverage and all that...)

HEY KIDS.......What rhymes with STINK?

INK, naturally.  

Don't have a tattoo?  You must be OLD!

I read something in Wednesday's Wall Street Journal that astounded me.  "Nearly two in five,  or 38% of millennials, those 18 through 29, have at least one tattoo, compared with 32% of gen-Xers and 15% of baby boomers."  All this from a Pew Research Center survey of 2,020 adults.  The most disturbing aspect of this is that 38% of the generation we old cats will hand the reins to in a couple of years are drunk enough to think getting a tat is a good career move.  Nothing says "I want the job" like a really neat spider web neck tattoo.  Or, better yet,  having L O V E spelled out on your sausage like digits.

What's next?  Self mutilation?  Oh wait, I forgot about the piercing thing.

Here's my advice for those of you looking forward to a comfortable retirement:

Buy all the stock you can grab in companies that manufacture laser tattoo removal machines.  Because, body "art" that looks cool in 2010 is guaranteed to look like a bad case of skin cancer in 2040.

You're welcome, whippersnappers!

BEFORE

AFTER