Who Thought THIS Was A Good Idea?

I have too many watches.
Like a lot of guys, I like them. They are the one fashion doodad that a man can get away with and they make easy gifts. (Father's Day is coming.)
It wasn't that long ago that everybody got a watch when they graduated from high school or college and it lasted them until it was time to pick-up that gold plated "Thank You" timepiece from your longtime employer when they shoved you out the door at 65.

Sometime during the past twenty years or so, when I wasn't paying attention, watches became cheap fashion accessories or promotional items. Businesses started giving them away or selling them at cost in company gift shops and PRESTO---you had a drawer full of twenty wristwatches to rotate.

Heck, I even have a watch from the Spam Museum in Austin, Minnesota that I bought for $18 when high school pal, "The Skipper", and I stopped in on our 2006 reunion pilgrimage.
No, I am not making this up. Stop by the next time you're in Austin and get your picture taken with "Spammy". Hormel has been making canned chopped piggy magic "since 1937".

I have accumulated radio station "gimme" watches and baseball team watches, though the Padres wrist candy only works when they win. (Not so bad this year.) And, because they are always such a "steal", I possess numerous faux designer wristwatches from New York's Chinatown dealers. "You likee??? I make you good deal! Real Rolex $5...no lie GI!"

Watches are cool AND inexpensive......
UNTIL, they NEED A BATTERY!

Once upon a time a watch was simply wound. It wasn't difficult. In fact, it was something to do while waiting for big things to happen. Nobody ever broke a sweat winding their watch. So, why in the name of all that is holy, did some idiot find it necessary to make watches battery operated??!! Yes, I know it means that your watch only runs down once a year but what good is that? Instead of just winding the damn thing you now have to put it somewhere where you will be reminded to stop by the clock shop or jewelery store and have a new battery installed. I don't know about you but this is usually about a four week chore for me. Then, once you've hauled your ass to the store, you are asked to fork over something like $5 for the "expert" handiwork. It's downright un-American.



Nope, it's time to BRING BACK WIND UP WATCHES!
I simply cannot make one more trip to see the fat guy at the clock shop who refuses to laugh at my cracks about funding terrorists with the bushel baskets of fives that I bring him. I think his name is Osama something...

Did I ever tell you about this really neat Cinderella wind up watch I found when I was a kid? Her clothes fell off when her hands struck twelve. It was a classic! Entertainment AND exercise all without a battery. Bite me Osama!!