Just What Baseball DOESN'T Need

Poor Jim Joyce!
Usually I have no tears for baseball's umpires, but this hapless schnook made a bigtime boo boo a couple of days ago in Detroit. From his vantage point Jason Donald of the Cleveland Indians looked safe and he said so to a chorus of groans and profanity in Comerica Park.
He got it wrong and it cost Armando Galarraga a no hitter.
" It was the biggest call of my career, and I kicked the (stuff) out of it."
"I thought he beat the throw. I was convinced he beat the throw, until I saw the replay," he said after the Tiger's 3-0 win.


That's what started it, the cry of baseball's know nothings to institute instant replay to the texture of the game. "It works in football" goes the rationale. So, why not baseball?

I know...believe me I know. It's a travesty of the first water that the kid was robbed of his perfect game, but it would be an even larger injustice to toss one more game slowing monkey wrench into the gears of America's slowest pastime. Baseball already flirts with sports obsolescence in a world with the attention span of my eight month-old grandson. It's an intellectual sport in an anti-intellectual world.

I'm just being honest here. I love the game. Couldn't play worth a damn, even in little league, but I love it just the same. To compare it to football is like comparing Chess to Go Fish. You can be half asleep or...completely drunk and still know what's going on in an NFL tilt, but you miss the game if you're not paying attention in baseball. There is no clock. Strategy rules.

Like so many of life's perfect things, baseball's strengths are also its weakness. The pitcher who brings great intellect to his craft usually has the moves of a glacier. "Just throw the damn ball!", is the cry. The guys who tote the lumber are no better. How many times can a batter adjust the snaps on his batting gloves, or step out of the box? Sometimes it feels as if you could book a world cruise during an "at bat". We are a nation of folks who scream at the microwave to "Hurry up"! We need no instant replay to second guess the umpires and further slow the game.

Every year I plunk money down for the MLB TV package so that I can watch games until my eyes hurt and my wife is saying, "Are you ever coming to bed?" The answer of course is: "Just one more inning hon', Baltimore loaded the bases and there are two outs." Unlimited games are a little slice of heaven for fans who enjoy a good bloop and a blast. Although, I confess to being worried about the number of empty seats I'm seeing lately in most major league cities. Is it the slowness of the games or perhaps the prices? Here in San Diego the seats are fairly reasonable compared to the likes of New York or Boston, but $9 beers and hotdogs that cost $7 are nothing short of extortion. Especially if you have kids, a professional baseball game is a second mortgage proposition. Also, the games tend to run a little too late in the evening for younger kids, making me wonder how much that has to do with the fact that I can't recall the last time I saw youngsters playing catch. Can you?

Baseball doesn't need instant replay.
It needs to concentrate on staying relevant in the twenty-first century.