"Back In The Day... Awesome"

I've been on the road.  Technically, mostly I have been in the air and have some observations.
First, if possible, NEVER get on an airplane.  Nut job terrorists and cheapskate airlines have morphed what used to be a fairly good way to get somewhere into the equivalent of a colonoscopy.  The strip search before boarding is sort of fun if you're in the mood, but seats designed for Twiggy and NO PEANUTS??!!  Come on!  I'd sooner take a beating than fly "the friendly skies".
And don't get me started on idiots and their cell phones at the airport...

Okay, do...
It is now painfully apparent that NOBODY reads to kill time.  Instead, they talk incessantly on their cell phones.  Air terminals and planes are now filled with folks so uncomfortable with their own thoughts that they feel compelled to share every mundane detail of their lives with all souls in earshot.  (Note: This used to be called radio and it was fun because nobody answered you back.)  "Blah blah blah...a tumor that weighed fifteen pounds....and then I said...blah blah blah....back in the day."  "Back in the day", I've noticed is now in the hot rotation of verbal crutches people are wheeling.  Back in WHAT day, is the question that needs to be ascertained.  Yesterday?  Ten years ago?  Grandma's day?  Exactly what freaking day are you referencing???  Here is a good way to clear this up:  Just stop saying it!  That would be
AWESOME.

Talk about a word that needs to be retired, AWESOME is at the top of my list.  It was a good word that has now been so pummelled by overuse that it means nothing.
Webster defines awesome as: "extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension or fear, also informally it can mean extremely good or excellent.

Awesome is no longer awesome.  Try something else.  "Mom, these cookies are impressive" would work.  How about "this martini is outstanding"?  The military pretty much ruined outstanding back in the 60's and 70's, but it's probably ready for a dust off.  I'd even settle for "bitchin".....ANYTHING but awesome.  Let's park that one for at least five years; maybe then we'll bring it up for a vote.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with some Planters Peanuts.  I don't care what those morons at Untied say, those goobers are awesome.