I choose to do this on the 4th of July because...
Well, because it may help mask my incompetence.
My gas grill has be acting weird lately and I have procrastinated long enough. It is now time for action! The damn thing is leaking propane from some "out of whack" location and it is no longer possible to burn meat on the grill. At my house this is a major malfunction.
For years I was a strict disciple of the church of charcoal. Not too much can go wrong when all you need do is toss a match onto a pile of briquettes and walk away for awhile. It's simple; not too messy and there is very little chance of breakage. I should have stuck with it.
About seven years ago I was seduced by the siren call of propane at my local barbecue store. "Just flip the switch... and your fire is ready! No more waiting for the fire to be just right."
For most guys this makes perfect sense, but for me it only means that there is one more piece of equipment around the old homestead that is ready to quit on me at an inopportune time.
You see, the world is composed of two kinds of guys: Guys who can fix stuff when it breaks and guys who can merely look at broken things and wonder who to call. I fall into the latter group. I come by it naturally. My father never had more than a hammer and a couple of screwdrivers in the house. (He actually knew the reason for the existence of the Phillips and the other one.) He was never able to fix anything that was on the fritz, but he tried. Once in awhile his always ugly fixes would work...but most of the time they would only temporarily buy him some time before Mom would call in an expert to remedy the situation. Dad would mutter about there being "no need to call anyone...it works just fine", but we all knew better.
So anyway, here I am on the 4th of July quietly giving thanks that we have no plans for a big backyard "do" because, (after seven years of faithful service) the dumbass gas grill has decided to spring a leak. So here is the plan: Instead of my usual fix it scenario where I merely move the busted appliance to an out-of-the-way location until I trick a non fix it phobic pal into doing something about it, I will attempt to fix it myself. I'm tired of rolling things to the curb and hanging a FREE sign on them after deciding they can't be restored. This time I'm making the move to the group of guys who can repair inanimate objects and return them to useful members of the household appliance brigade.
Who am I kidding?!
If I'm lucky I'll be able to time this disaster to coincide with the amazing and explosive finale' from the fireworks show at Legoland.
Here's to a flaming Fourth!
Pass me that wrench...
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