Puddy Tat killer deals death in Providence!

Ted Bundy rode "Old Sparky" straight to hell.
David Berkowitz casts his goofy peepers on the walls of stony lonesome for the rest of his miserable life.
But, Oscar the cat continues to deal his lethal cat breath to the grandpas and grandmas in the Steere House geezer garage in Providence, Rhode Island.

So far, the media have portrayed this feline serial killer as an affable furry little kitty who somehow senses when one of the residents of Steere House is about to catch the "Big Bus" to the great beyond. A "sixth sense", they say, allows him to curl up on the bed of the patient who is near death and in need of comfort.

Comfort my ass!! This damn cat is a psychopath! A snuff artist of the first degree...


Look at him. Is this the face of anything other than a stone killer?
Charles Manson has eyes like this for God's sake!
And...It isn't like this hasn't been going on for what could be one of history's longest killing sprees. No, Oscar has "presided over" the deaths of more than 25 residents of the advanced dementia unit at the Steere House. In fact, Dr. David M. Dosa submitted an essay about Oscar to the New England Journal of Medicine. (For my money, that makes the "doc" a co-conspirator.)
According to Dr. Dosa, Oscar typically arrives at a dying patient's bedside a few hours before they expire.
Uh....HELLO! EARTH TO DR. DOSA! Doc, the pussy cat is snuffing your patients! It's time to TAKE OUT TUNA BREATH!

We haven't a moment to lose. I suggest arming all of the remaining residents of the nursing home with squirt guns and catnip. Anything that will keep old Oscar from jumping up on the bed.



Oscar, waiting for the perfect moment to fulfill his contract.





Just a minute.
I have the solution!
My nephew Walt's dog, Dash!

He is the out of town talent we can bring to Providence to solve the "Oscar problem".

He hates cats and is willing to travel.
I'm almost certain that he once again pooped on that throw rug in the hallway at my brother's house and might need a little time away from my sister-in-law.

DASH AND OSCAR...... A steel cage death match!
(I've got dibs on this one for pay per view on ESPN)


"Hate cats...Will travel"