Stuck in the blades of the Windmills of My Mind...

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older and don't sleep as soundly as I once did, or if it's the result of spending too much time on the Internet, but these things KEEP ME AWAKE:

Women have no depth perception. They are incapable of parallel parking. All guys know this. Yet...they are superb packers. They can cram everything, (and I do mean everything), needed for a vacation into a couple of suitcases and never once during that vacation find themselves saying, "son of a bitch...I thought I packed that." We males, on the other hand, forget to pack almost ALL essential items.
"Honey, have you seen my razor?"
"Son of a..."
"I'll be back in a minute. Do you need anything from the drug store?"

Women are also good at arranging furniture and using a tiny pencil to draw lines around their eyeballs.

Another thing keeping me awake is...Tyson Foods.
It seems that Tyson has plans to team with a company called Syntroleum that will take fat from Tyson's meat processing plants and turn it into liquid fuel to power cars and jets.
Can't you see it? PORKY POWER! Now with extra snouts and More Oink per mile!

Do I smell Bar B Que?


More flab for the Super Slab!


And...in sports:

The Padres have a rookie third baseman named Chase Headley. This bothers me a great deal. Chase Headley is not...NOT a baseball name! Chase Headley is the name of a tennis pro at your country club or a guy who works for Wachovia and wants to talk to you about equities. It is no name for a third baseman. He needs to change it.



Chase Headley...You've got to be kidding!

Boof baffling batters
The Minnesota Twins, on the other hand, have a pitcher with one of the all time great baseball names: Boof Bonser.

Now, that is a baseball name! Boof Bonser is a Hall of Fame name that is the equal of both the Dean brothers, Dizzy and Daffy, and right up there with my favorite...Stubby Clapp.





And finally...
My nephew Ken e-mailed me a picture of a young couple that he found on the net. Ken lives in North Carolina; so they probably live nearby. I have been losing sleep trying to figure how to work this photo into a blog.
Problem solved.



Odds of meeting these two at New York's Waldorf Astoria: Zero

Odds of meeting the happy couple at a Mensa meeting: less than Zero

Odds of meeting them in North or South Carolina...100%