It's Painful...But I Have Insentive!

They made us exercise every morning in the Army.
By "they" I am referring to the sadists of various rank who delighted in making guys run and do things like Jumping Jacks until you wanted to lose all of your breakfast and maybe even some of the whiskey from the night before.
I HATED it!

When I got out of the Army I promised myself never to break a sweat again and was good to my word for over twenty years. Then about thirteen years ago one of the lowest forms of life on the planet, a radio time sales representative, approached me about doing a series of commercials for a local gym in San Diego. Now, you must know that since very early in my radio career I had learned to either hide or run away at top speed whenever a "Time Slime" approached. They invariably want something from you and it usually involves the commercial prostitution of your very soul.
"Look...I promised the client that you'd do it." Always meant an on air personality had been sacrificed by the sales rep for the "greater good" of the station's bottom line. I figured this was no exception.

"The client is willing to sign on for a 52 week schedule and you'll get cash plus a free membership and...they'll throw in a trainer for you." He had me at CASH. I thought I would be able to show up for a few sessions at the gym; quietly quit going and...continue to cash their checks. It was a deal.

The surprising thing was that after a few sessions with the trainer, Jeff, (a genuinely nice hillbilly from one of the Carolina's), I actually began to feel better and had lost a few pounds. I now had INCENTIVE. Not only that, during my next physical my doctor noted that my blood pressure and cholesterol were in a much friendlier neighborhood and that I could stop taking medication for the former. Amazing!

In the months that followed I found that I was in constant need of new incentives to continue my flirtation with good health and exercise. A compliment about how much better I was looking would be good enough to keep me going for at least a week. I learned to read magazines and trade publications as I slaved away on the treadmill or bike, which was further incentive as I now felt like I was accomplishing something as I sweated my way to good health. It has been like that for all of the thirteen years. Boredom sets in and some new prod is needed to get me to the gym. I'm involved in a constant search for a reason to do it.

My wife, Linda, joined me in this "get in shape" insanity after I had been at it for about a year. She initially joined a gym near her work, but since she retired and I "got quit" from the station that had the deal with the gym, we have both been torturing ourselves at a new health club near our home. It ain't easy...but we do it.

Just last week I was wondering why I still bothered with all of the exercise. The usual "gym ennui" was settling upon me once again. On our ride home the other day, both of us were commenting on how OLD we were feeling as compared to the others at the gym. We don't have tattoos; I have no hair to spike with styling gel; we seem to be the only members who know who Soupy Sales is. You know...the typical complaints. And then Linda said, "I can't believe the number of women in the locker room who don't put on any underwear when they get dressed."

I'll be back at the gym first thing tomorrow morning! I'm newly inspired!
This will keep me going for at least another SIX MONTHS! The good cholesterol and better blood pressure won't work anymore. THIS WILL!

Is she one of them???? How about her? Maybe I should just ask Linda. No, no it's better this way.
Maybe her????
No VPL there!
Lechery and me...working hand in hand for better health.