Yeah, maybe that Corona corpulence crept into my jeans while my head spent the past two months in the refrigerator. When snacks, leftover pizza, ice cream, peanut butter and cookies call, all real Americans listen! We are a wider country now and it shows. It's not global warming causing street flooding along our coasts, it's the U.S. land mass sinking because we've all larded on ten or twenty extra pounds during this government imposed house arrest. Doing nothing begets boredom (see retirement) and when we're bored WE EAT. Loose clothing, at this point in the Corona conundrum, is becoming an essential part of our collective wardrobe. If you're a savvy investor, this may well be the time to put some cash to work in Weight Watchers or a company that manufactures sweat clothes. After all, nothing says "I give up" quite like sweatpants. Or, if this imposed nonsense continues, a little research into companies that sew those flowing robes favored by tubby oil sheiks and their minions. (Acme Tent & Awning, if memory serves.) You can easily hide dunes of blubber in what looks like your laundry, and it also can serve nicely as headgear.
Looking around at the sparsely populated cabin on this Airbus 319, it is apparent that "wide body" is descriptive of more than just the aircraft. It's time for the country to get back to work and the gym before we all have to call the Auto Club to tow us off the couch or, at least in my situation, out of the plane.
Now, if you'll excuse me, they sky waitresses are coming around with some more delicious fake cheese crackers and a couple of cookies. Are you gonna eat yours?? I've worked up an appetite. A diet will have to wait until we find a cure.
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| "A couple more of these moves and I'll be back to my old fighting weight." |
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| Funny, these were looser yesterday. |
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| The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders get ready for the season. |
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