Just In Time For St. Pat's

It's not just for breakfast anymore!

In addition to the eternal Irish conundrum of whether to fight and get drunk or get drunk and fight, Saint Pat's revelers have another tough choice to make as the 2019 green weekend bacchanal gets underway.  This year not only will there be green beer but, in select locations, a no doubt "magically ridiculous" new malt beverage will be joining the celebration.  The Smartmouth Brewing Company, a Virginia brewery, is debuting a frothy amber tipple called Saturday Morning that, according to Smartmouth spokesman Chris Neikirk, tastes like a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal.  "It has a soft pillowy body with a slight cereal taste, it is brewed with in-house toasted marshmallows and bulk dehydrated marshmallow bits," reports Mr. Neikirk.  However, to make sure we all know that the product is not being marketed to children, the new brew is not sporting the Lucky Charms moniker.  (Pay no attention to the picture of Lucky Charms cereal on the can kids!)

The advent of this new beverage will no doubt come as good news to the Ohio man, Del Hall, who is giving up all food and drink EXCEPT BEER for Lent.  Mr. Hall, who, by the way, works at the Fifty West brewery in Dayton, opines he is merely following the lead of monks from the 1600's who made a special bock beer for Lent.  "So the monks in Bavaria, they would call doppelbock liquid bread and basically it would sustain them through the 46 days of Lent," the certifiably delusional Ohioan explained.  Hall did say he was going to mix it up a bit by including ALL types of beer in his experiment.  (Saturday Morning for breakfast big guy?)  He claims that he feels good so far and is losing weight with the suds regime.  You can follow his progress on his YouTube channel.

"Beer!  It's slimming!"

Green beer will be in abundance this weekend to provide the sons and daughters of the Emerald Isle and their pretender degenerate friends with enough personality enhancement to insure a memorable experience.  Oh wait, it might be a good idea to hire a non celebrant to video the festivities to--you know-- refresh those memories the following day.  Make sure not to drive and don't drunk dial old lovers while full of Irish goodwill if you join the party.  Also, remember if you wake up on March 18th naked with a live badger in the room and Lucky Charms on the ceiling, that may be a real clear sign that it's time to SLOW DOWN.

"We started without you!"