Friday, June 23, 2017

"Not Specified" In Oregon


It was nice to have my opinion of the state of Oregon being the repository of those among us deemed too weird for California affirmed once again.  Yes, that magic land where soccer is actually considered a watchable sport, beavers talk and commies get elected has become the first state in the U.S. to allow its citizens to mark their gender as "not specified" on applications for driver's licenses, learner's permits and identity cards.  Wow!  Who knew that this was a problem?  Considering that linear thought leaves your cranium once you cross the state line I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Instead of an M or F, an X is now a legal designation for those too confused to chose a bathroom or what to wear every morning.  It's called a "non-binary" gender identification, thank you very much, and now our problems are over.

Look, if pressed, I would happily put an X in the "don't give a rat's ass" box on this ruling by a Multnomah County judge but let's do a quick check on the issue's rank in the parade of major problems confronting our republic.  YEP, dead last, right after "make mean people stop being mean". In a time of terrorism, deficit spending, incivility, lousy nutrition,  a woefully dysfunctional education system and a society coarsened to the point of near primitive tribalism the denizens of the sideshow that is Oregon are pleased as punch to be implementing this exciting change of law.  Whoop dee damn do!  Now, if you live in the "Beaver State" you're free to act like all the sled dog drivers in the enlightened Canadian province of Ontario (yeah, they do the X thing too) and put yourself down as "non-binary" in the junk department.

Since they're being creative, how about adding one more category.   If you really can't decide if you are a boy or a girl, I suggest "Q" for quatrasexual.  You know that one, "anything anytime with anybody for a quarter."  That should give ambivalent Oregonians plenty of options in their oh so difficult quest to figure out whether to sit or stand.  It's all so confusing.
"Yeah, put me down for that Q thing."

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