Pokemon Blows

"Got time to waste?  Come chase us!"

It's official.  We are totally out of stuff to do.

What other explanation could there possibly be for Pokemon Go?  In case you recently stepped off the planet, this idiotic waste of time has many of our fellow earth dwellers traipsing around the real world with "not so smart" phones clutched firmly in hand as they chase imaginary  digital monsters.  Not only are these clowns doing a wonderful impression of Otis Campbell, Mayberry's town drunk on the old Andy Griffith Show, they are also endangering themselves and others as they barge into traffic and walk off cliffs in pursuit of these pretend monsters.  Holy idiocracy! Just when you thought the country couldn't possibly get any dumber, we somehow manage to come up with crap like this.

I will confess Pokemon Go has provided oodles of entertainment for my wife and me when we make our morning trek to the neighborhood park to feed the squirrels.  Up until now we have had to amuse ourselves by feeding endless nuts to the  furry little tree top dummies in an attempt to make the lot of them official contenders for the Jackie Gleason look-a-like contest.  Some have become so fat it's necessary to roll the peanuts toward their respective trees in consideration of the required dragging of bellies no longer capable of navigating park terrain.  With the addition of the Pokemon Go zombies to the mix of park fauna, we are now treated to the near constant hilarity of dozens of virtually obsessed morons falling over picnic tables, barbecues, playground equipment and each other as they capture precisely NOTHING.  Even the squirrels think they're idiots.  Don't these people have jobs?!

another one rides the short bus...

My wife, as usual, keeps attempting to put a positive spin on this Pokemadness by saying things like, "at least the kids are doing something outdoors."  Which is a lot like bragging that your child is the skinniest kid at fat camp.  She also fails to take into consideration that the argument loses something when at least half the "kids" look to be over 25.

So, keep it up kids!  All that falling down and walking into trees provides all the hilarity of alcohol abuse without the expense of buying booze.  And, don't forget, "chased and captured imaginary monsters in a local park" looks pretty damned impressive on a resume'.    

My thoughts precisely!