You Can't Fix Stupid

Please put on some clothes, I'm begging you!

Longtime locals tell me that it has been a record breaker and, having done some checking, I find that they do  know what they're talking about.  The inland Northwest hasn't been this hot since the early 1960's and, until today, there hasn't been a break from 90 degree and higher temperatures in the last four weeks.  June was rainless but July should bring at least a couple of decent showers.  Unlike California we have plenty of water for drinking and washing but the forests remain dangerously vulnerable to any spark.  No campfires allowed, anywhere, anytime!

All this heat has inspired the least modest among us to don Speedos and bikini butt floss for a traipse to the beach.  After careful observation I have concluded that there is a severe mirror shortage in the homes of many Idahoans.  Some serious adipose tissue is orbiting more than a few waistlines and the percentage of "how drunk were you?" tattoos is nearly incalculable.  On the 4th of July it was all I could do to keep from heading for the nearest ATM to secure sufficient cash to bribe some of these folks back into their clothes.  OH, THE HUMANITY!

Is it something in the water?  Maybe too few glutens or preservatives?   (Hey, we used to be smarter when we consumed more of that stuff.)  I think the answer may be more basic.  Let's say that one out of a hundred of us is a nitwit--no doubt a conservative estimate--and, since there are a hell of a lot more of us than there used to be,  more nitwits equals more dumb choices equals more laughable situations.

It wouldn't be so bad if morons only cluttered our beaches with their over exposed bodies but they also insist on electing felony stupid politicians and repeatedly endanger society with idiotic driving and other reckless behavior.  Need examples?

How about this:  A young man in Calais, Maine thought it was a good idea to put a firecracker on his head before lighting it on July 4th.  He had been drinking.  NO?!  Twenty-two years is a good run for a dolt.  At least he won't be voting next year.

My current favorite candidate for the 2015 Darwin awards is the young guy in Wales who was struck and killed by lightning while taking his picture with a selfie stick during a thunder storm.  Now there is one less welfare slug the United Kingdom has to worry about.

There are three kinds of people:

Those who make things happen,

those who watch things happen,

and…Those who wonder what the hell happened.

We seem to be making more of the latter.

"That lightning will look cool in the background."