Escape From Squirrel Town

Squirrel Town:  Bring peanuts!

I knew it would happen one day.  On our walk this morning my wife ran out of peanuts for the squirrels that patrol and control the park just around the corner.  We had to run for it but made the street just in time to dash for the safety of home.  The furry rodents are extremely territorial and regard Park Street as the River Styx or, at least, an alligator infested moat and, to my knowledge, have never ventured across.

Safely out of range,  I reminded Linda that the little bastards are nothing more than flea-bitten rats with big heads and bushy tails whose cartoonish appearance fools people into believing they are friendly and would like nothing more than to pal around. WRONG!  The cagey miniature cons sit up on their haunches and swish their tails as they beg pathetically using those dumber than Al Sharpton eyes.  Their brains are about the size of a lentil and it's often necessary to point out where the peanut you have just tossed their way has landed.  

As it is with all creatures, there are some exceptions to the short bus riding denizens of squirrel town.  A  roly-poly rascal I've nicknamed "Kramden" is the Jackie Gleason of squirrels.  He knows right where to plant his pudgy carcass when he sees the peanut momma hove into view.  Right away he is in begging mode with the twitchy tail and paws at port arms looking for all the world like he's auditioning for the lead in a road company production of Oliver Twist.  "Please, sir, may I have some more?"

Kramden in action

Lois Lerner?

So, it's off to the supermarket this afternoon for re-supply of unsalted, (gotta watch that squirrel hypertension),  in the shell peanuts for tomorrow's sojourn through squirrel town.  The walk always does us good and the squirrel shakedown is a constant reminder of Jerry Brown's California tax policies that helps drive folks from the Golden State.  Or, is it the IRS I'm reminded of as we stroll among the rodents?  Come to think of it, was that IRS head honcho John Koskinen with his paw out this morning? Or, is he still busy lying to congress?  And, by the way, where is Lois Lerner?


Perhaps if we follow the peanuts...

"Lois and I have no idea what happened to your peanuts."  Right Lois?  Lois?

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