Not That You Asked...

But, here are a few things I've been missing lately:

Popcorn made in a pan, not the microwave

chocolate bubblegum cigars

actual mail from a real person

cars that have NO computer

movies featuring stars I recognize

homemade fried chicken

baseball games that last less than three hours

TV sitcoms that are actually funny

dogs that eat table scraps

clerks who can count change

people under 50 who can put a sentence together without using the word LIKE

teachers who dress like grownups

Democrats like JFK, Scoop Jackson and Harry Truman

Republicans like Ronald Reagan, Ike and Abe Lincoln

comfortable furniture

comfortable underwear

actors who don't mumble

30 cent gasoline

Holidays; not meaningless three day weekends

standard time

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

George Carlin

Ernie Kovacs

Phil Silvers

Nat Hiken

Joan Rivers

Sinatra

Clark bars

convertibles

booze (I still miss the taste)

No fine dining here

A freaking nightmare

STUFF I CAN DO WITHOUT:

Basic training

C rations

High school algebra and geometry

Kansas

my annual prostate exam

pro basketball

college basketball

ABC news

NBC news

MSNBC

Al Sharpton

Dancing with the Stars (more like has beens)

all reality shows

Hillary & Bill

Harry Reid

Income tax

Rap music

people who've had their teeth whitened just a little too much

cats

people who ask me how I'm "doin'"

SUVs

Heart Smart butter (tastes like Gliden's paint)

plastic water bottles

idiot bosses

popular culture

People Magazine

plumber cleavage

guys with their hats on backward (We get it.  You're a moron.)

winter

variety shows of any kind

 James Blunt singing anything
same goes for Cat Stevens

This could go on forever, but it's a nice spring day in the Inland Northwest.  Time to go outside and yell at those kids on my lawn.

No computer onboard