Huh?

For at least the last twenty years of her life my mother was hard of hearing.  To suggest that it might be time to invest in a hearing aid was treading on very dangerous ground.  She would adamantly refuse to even consider that her hearing wasn't 100% and was insulted that either of her children would promote her use of a device that was "strictly for OLD people".  Always true to herself and her stubborn German temperament she exited the planet at age 89 sans one of "those contraptions".  

  In my thirties my wife, kids and I really began to notice how loud the TV was at Grandma and Grandpa's house and how often we all had to repeat ourselves in conversation with either parent.  Complaints of "actors who mumble" and those of us present who didn't enunciate clearly became kind of an inside joke to we younger Coppers.  When asked to repeat something--and doing so with a loud and distinct delivery--a retort of "there's no need to shout" was the defensive response.  It was the quintessential no win situation.  Even my argument comparing glasses and hearing aids was unwelcome.  Stony silence and a withering glare was our reward for :  "You wear glasses to help you see.  Why not employ a device that helps you hear better?"  

Like so many things in life, lately Linda and I find ourselves in deja vu mode.  We seem to be saying What? and Huh? just like our parents did.  She accuses me of mumbling under my breath which, to be fair, is a skill honed in adolescence that still serves me well with authority figures.  "GOOD MORNING BOSS, (you fat putz)."  However, these days she is calling me on it even when I'm on my best behaviour.  To be fair, many times she sounds like she too is mumbling when she speaks.  I nearly missed my plane a couple of months back because I thought she told me it left at 6:50 AM instead of 6:15.  (It sure sounded like 6:50.  Maybe if I'd looked at the ticket?)

Several years back parties became a challenge.  Lip reading is a necessity if I'm to catch much of what anyone has to say in a crowded room.  Nodding my head and imagining what the person talking to me looks like naked goes a long way toward getting through any social event.  Also, about a year ago we noticed that hitting the Closed Caption button on the TV remote during certain shows (more of them all the time) featuring actors who "mumble too much" was a huge boost to our enjoyment of the programs.  I'm telling you it's a Godsend for all those limey epics on PBS.  Neither of us would have a clue about Masterpiece Classic without the old CC option.  

Perhaps it's time to make an appointment to see a doctor about one of those now smaller than ever hearing aids?

Or, maybe you could just shut up and toss me the remote so I can turn up the TV.  And please hit the CC button please.

Damn actors are mumbling and hearing aids are for OLD PEOPLE!.