TOGA ! TOGA!

"Did we quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

"My advice is that you start drinking...heavily."  Those were the words of wisdom offered by John "Bluto" Blutarsky to Faber College freshman Kent Dorfman in the touchstone movie of my generation, "Animal House".    It is excellent advice for residents of the once "Golden State" of California now that we have, in a haze of marijuana smoke, once again elected our very own "Bluto", Jerry Brown, as governor.  Goddamn Governor Moonbeam is BAAAACCCCKKK!  And, as if that weren't bad enough, we have also managed to give Mandy Pepperidge, aka Nancy Pelosi, another six years at the Washington teat.  (She's done such a great job you know.)  Maybe we need some sort of mental test before people are trusted with a ballot, or at least restrict voting to folks who actually pay taxes and have some skin in the game.  Knowing the issues would be a nice touch too.

Mandy Pepperidge Pelosi

After Tuesday's election it is apparent that most of the country, even Michigan and Wisconsin for God sakes, has come to its collective senses.  Adults who grasp the concept of only spending money you actually have in the bank is the way to begin the task of fixing this wonderful country.  At last the cavalry has arrived!

Naturally, New York, Massachusetts, Maryland, Delaware, and the Peoples Republic of Oregon remain with California in the dumb row of our semi United States.  (Washington could go either way but  definitely is in need of some sort of remedial intervention.)

Maybe there is some way to group these dippy states into a kind of "We want to be just like Europe" Republic.  Or, better yet, let's just declare them an asylum.  (You know...GOON GARAGE!)

If you need me, I'll be getting an estimate from Bekins.  Wyoming and Nevada are starting to look real good to me.

JERRY BROWN?????