Dad At 35,000'

(The following was written a couple of weeks ago in the middle of a first time flight to Australia and New Zealand.)  

He sneaks up on me when I least expect him.  Certainly as I attempt sleep at umpity ump thousand feet somewhere over the South Pacific it is a surprise to be talking with my dad.  People never tell you about stuff like this.  At least nobody ever mentioned it to me.  Or, maybe they did and I just wasn't listening.

Dad ankled the planet nearly sixteen years ago but strangely has had more to say to me in the past few years than he ever did while still blowing smoke rings from is favorite green easy chair.  Or, maybe he did and I just wasn't listening.

No mater.

What strikes me in the wee smalls of a fourteen hour flight to Sydney is the enormity of what was asked of so many Americans of dad's generation not so long ago.  The scope of the challenge handed to those young guys at the threshold of their adult lives is hard to grasp.  Even more impressive is the fact that they delivered.  How did it feel to be a young man from the cornbelt who, like most of his peers, had never been far from home, on board a ship bobbing on an ocean you'd never seen?  

What sacrifice!  There were no guarantees of victory; no assurance of going home in one piece.  Yet, they did it because the alternative to victory was unthinkable.  A triumphant Imperial Japan and, or Nazi Germany was simply unacceptable.

They anted up irreplaceable hunks of their young lives.  Some gave all in places they couldn't find on a map.

It isn't lost on me that their grit and determination allows me to now muse at 35,000 feet as I wend my way to a part of the globe I will visit under very different circumstances from dad and his buddies.

In this season of thanks and redemption I remember as a grateful son and hope that it's enough.

Add One More To The Royal Payroll!

It has been fun to be in Australia for all the excitement surrounding Prince William's engagement to Kate Middleton.  The Aussies , you see, like most of the rest of the free world and assorted commie countries couldn't give a rat's ass.  At least that's the vibe I pick-up from the local papers, (yes they still have them and they are BIG), and chats with the completely affable folks from the land down under.  

Apparently the fact that Kate is a distant relative of one of the original Brit jailbirds quartered in these parts is, at best, a triviality.  Australians look at it as just one more addition to the already bloated royal payroll of horse-faced dimwitted inbreds that the U.K. continues to prefer over a really kickass flag.  Just think of the dough England would save by going with the flag or very cool mascot.  Putting the royal numskulls in the unemployment line could free up millions of euros and perhaps allow Britain to balance its budget or, better yet, throw an exceedingly bitchin' party.

Where is Winston Churchill when you need him??!!  I'm sure old Winny would be on-board with this.   More money for cigars and brandy!

Of course I realize that Americans have no room to criticise when it comes to rewarding idiotic behaviour, however even we are not dumb enough to have the federal government cut a paycheck for Snookie  and the gang from Jersey Shore.   We do pay San Fran Nancy Pelosi, but you don't want to get me started.  

This Guy GETS It

H.L. Mencken, for years my favorite cynic, has nothing on Adam Carolla.  In fact Carolla is the uber crank  we angry middle-aged white guys have been waiting for.  You may remember him from TV's "Man Show" or his radio work as Howard Stern's replacement but you really need to check out his brand new book to grasp just how hilariously prescient this guy is.   Chapters on kids,  the minimum-wage gilded cage, airport security, and women are fall down funny in addition to being spot on correct.  

In a perfect world this guy would be president.  Unfortunately we now live in a "politically correct" concentration camp that deems the likes of The Aceman the enemy.  He decidedly is NOT.  This tome should be required reading for our so called leaders and liberal knot-head pantywaists everywhere. 

Do yourself a favor; BUY THIS BOOK.   In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks will have you laughing out loud and later, after you think about it, near tears because he's right and you know it.

TOGA ! TOGA!

"Did we quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

"My advice is that you start drinking...heavily."  Those were the words of wisdom offered by John "Bluto" Blutarsky to Faber College freshman Kent Dorfman in the touchstone movie of my generation, "Animal House".    It is excellent advice for residents of the once "Golden State" of California now that we have, in a haze of marijuana smoke, once again elected our very own "Bluto", Jerry Brown, as governor.  Goddamn Governor Moonbeam is BAAAACCCCKKK!  And, as if that weren't bad enough, we have also managed to give Mandy Pepperidge, aka Nancy Pelosi, another six years at the Washington teat.  (She's done such a great job you know.)  Maybe we need some sort of mental test before people are trusted with a ballot, or at least restrict voting to folks who actually pay taxes and have some skin in the game.  Knowing the issues would be a nice touch too.

Mandy Pepperidge Pelosi

After Tuesday's election it is apparent that most of the country, even Michigan and Wisconsin for God sakes, has come to its collective senses.  Adults who grasp the concept of only spending money you actually have in the bank is the way to begin the task of fixing this wonderful country.  At last the cavalry has arrived!

Naturally, New York, Massachusetts, Maryland, Delaware, and the Peoples Republic of Oregon remain with California in the dumb row of our semi United States.  (Washington could go either way but  definitely is in need of some sort of remedial intervention.)

Maybe there is some way to group these dippy states into a kind of "We want to be just like Europe" Republic.  Or, better yet, let's just declare them an asylum.  (You know...GOON GARAGE!)

If you need me, I'll be getting an estimate from Bekins.  Wyoming and Nevada are starting to look real good to me.

JERRY BROWN?????