What ELSE is on?

Cycling, Diving, swimming? COME ON!!
As if those weren't bad enough, there is also the thrill a minute fun of gymnastics and rowing.

Here's what I won't be watching on TV today, tomorrow, or...EVER: THE OLYMPICS!

God, what a bore!! The only thing that could possibly create a scintilla of interest in this international snooze fest is if the IOC were to sanction some form of parimutual wagering. You know...GAMBLING! Fifty bucks riding on the outcome of a rowing competition might enhance my ability to keep my eyes open, but maybe not. Make it $100.
Who picks these damn events? Where is the Fun Factor?

How about an eating contest or a demolition derby? My old pal, "The Skipper", could round up at least a couple of classic heaps that would be worthy contenders and I know we could count on him for the eating contest. Let's start getting CREATIVE Olympic committee!!!

By the way...When did McDonald's quit charging fifteen cents for their hamburgers? I guess maybe I haven't stopped by the Golden Arches in awhile. Weren't they fifteen cents a couple of weeks ago? Perhaps a few too many days have rolled by since I last "gave myself a break" at Mc D's. The Wall Street Journal has a piece about modifications to the McDonald's menu that references a change in their "Dollar Menu". Dollar Menu???!!!! What culinary delights involving paper thin burgers and fry-o-later grease could cost more than a few cents?

According to the Journal, there are only eight items on the McDonald's menu that range in price from $1.09 to $2.00. Wouldn't $2.00 entitle you to a slice of the franchise???!! It's hamburgers and fries in the name of all that's holy!!! And now they even have $3 lattes???
Kill me now!

Here's a thought: An Olympic eating contest sponsored by Mc Donald's! We could get those cholestoral cuties Fritzy and Frieda Frizzel the original "Sizzle Sisters". You no doubt remember their fine work in the Cheetos Crunch Off in 2006. Those gals really put the thigh in Thigh Master.


Quick! Get the IOC on the line. We'll put a Ton-O-Fun in these games yet.

My $50 is on the fat one.