Re-Thinking the OLYMPICS

Perhaps I was too hasty; maybe even unpatriotic.
Whatever got into this ALL AMERICAN boy?

How could I have written off the Olympic competition that has captured the attention of the world? How did I miss the emergence of the most exciting new sport of my lifetime? How could I have overlooked Misty May-Treanor, Kerri Walsh and the rest of the magnificent bombshells of the beatific and challenging WOMEN'S' BEACH VOLLEYBALL??!!

Hubba hubba hubba and God bless America! Now, this really is MUST SEE TV! Just where the hell has NBC been hiding this fine old American sport from we die hard Olympic fans?

I'm not yet certain how they keep score or how you can tell who's supposed to be doing what, but I soldier on. This is the American dream writ large and in high definition.

One question: Why isn't it on ALL THE TIME?
Hell, I'd sit through nothing but Billy May's "Mighty Putty" and Mitch's "ShamWow" commercials to feast my eyes on this riveting All American competition.
Is this Fall's NBC schedule already set? I think that a couple of hours of primetime seven nights a week would blow the roof off their Nielson numbers. And, think of all the Texas sized HDTVs rolling out the door of Best Buy and Costco. The beach babes could turn the whole damned American economy around. It's something to bring a tear to the eye of every lecherous capitalist in the good ol' U. S. of A.

From John Wayne in "The Sands of Iwo Jima" to "Misty, Kerri, and the Sand Babes of Santa Monica", this truly is the grandest country on the face of the earth. The commies have NOTHING to compare!

Oh yeah, did I mention that we now have chocolate bacon too?
It's available on the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz, California.
"Bacon...It's not just for breakfast anymore" is the marketing line being used by Joseph Marini III, a fourth generation candy maker who invented the delicious concoction.

Womens' Beach Volleyball and chocolate bacon...God Bless the USA!

Hand me my remote. I want to slo mo this volley.

Tell Putin to POUND SAND!