This year will be different. Changes will be made and "new and improved" will be affixed to my persona!
In the past I would laugh at those who promised to change their behavior for the better via some foolish resolutions, a mistake of epic proportions. However, as one who has evolved from "fair-haired boy" to "bald-headed brother-in-law", I now see that there is real possible improvement in store for me in 2019 and after much consideration I have composed a list:
In 2019 I resolve ...
1. To never deprive myself of the cathartic pleasure of yelling at my TV.
2. To never served watered down drinks to my friends. (Don't ask for ice.)
3. To never feed soup to a harelip horse.
4. To never invite a live gopher into my home. (unless it looks like fun)
5. To never get in touch with my feelings.
6. To resist everything but temptation.
7. To never take a dog's temperature in church.
8. To never give up a chance to ignore political correctness.
9. To never go ice skating in my underwear...or, ice skating AT ALL.
10. To give up swearing.
Damn! That stupid b@##$% Pelosi is on my TV!!
Oops, I do believe my resolutions are shot to hell.
I feel very positive about my chances for next year. I'm sure to nail it in 2020!
Happy New Year!
No comments:
Post a Comment