Bumping Into Ben

"Hey buddy, it's me Gentle Ben!"

While walking in the woods of north Idaho one day last week I chanced upon an old friend.  I nearly didn't recognize him as, like me, he has aged considerably but it was TV's Gentle Ben.  You remember the series don't you?  It was a big hit in the 1960's and featured Ben as the big furry pal of a boy named Mark played by Clint Howard.  The show was shot on location in the Florida Everglades.

"Ben", I said.  "What's up pal?  What a  nice surprise that you're also a denizen of the Idaho panhandle."

Ben & Clint 

HERE IS THE TRANSCRIPT OF OUR CONVERSATION:

GB:  Good to see you too Buddy!  Remember the time we got wasted at Sweet Lou's oyster bar in Tampa?

KC:  Things are a little hazy but I do seem to recall you trashing the place.

GB:  Good times!  It was a real bitch working Florida in a fur coat.  Sort of like working on the surface of the sun,  but I survived.  Rides on the air boat saved me.

KC:  Yeah, this Idaho north woods weather has got to be way better for you.

GB:  Between sweating it out in the Glades and that little pain in the ursine ass, Clint Howard, I couldn't wait for that show to get canceled.  By the way...is there another kid in the history of Hollywood who went from cute to gap-toothed goober faster than the Howard kid?!  Holy crap!  Talk about "the prince formerly known as charming".

KC:  His brother, Ron, always manages to squeeze his mug into every movie he produces just so old Clint can keep getting residuals.  

Clint Howard, from cute to ugly in record time

GB:  It wasn't so easy for me after the series ended.  I wound up working in the circus and hating every minute of it.  Riding the bike, juggling, and all that bear shtick depressed me no end.  I wound up hitting the mead pretty hard and eventually couldn't stay on the bike or  do any damn juggling without knocking myself out.  It was brutal man.  They canned me and the wife ran off with Jo Jo The Dog Faced Boy.  

I don't like to talk about it.

KC:  Well, you're here now and I trust things are on a more even keel.

GB:  Yeah, pretty much.  Although the debate the other night was a bummer.  Geez, can you believe we're down to an orange manatee shaped loon and some old bag who looks like every guy's idea of A LONG DAY?

KC:  Like George Carlin always said:  "The world is a freak show and if you're an American you have a front row seat."

GB: Bingo!

KC:  So, who are you gonna vote for?

GB:  Well, between the humorless, mendacious harridan and the overweight circus act, I'll go with Shakes the Clown every time.  The Hildabeast reminds me of my ex old lady.
By the way...which way to the lake?  I'm really getting sick of huckleberries and am jonesing for some bass.

KC:  The pike are hitting at the mouth of the river and the trout, perch and kokanee are fatter than ever this year.  Northwest sushi at its finest!

GB:  Thanks pal.  Mind if I take your Wall Street Journal with me?  I've got some business to attend to before exiting the woods.

KC: Be my guest.  Catch you later.



And, with that, he was off, older, wiser and certainly cooler than the average bear.