Most people crave pets. Smart people own cats and dogs. Morons collect snakes and other critters that belong behind glass or bars.
Of course the nitwits who go for the exotic animals usually wind up tiring of the not so cuddly object of their affection and either give the creature away, turn it loose or stupidly kill it with neglect. South Florida now has a sufficient python population to host an annual round-up of this unwelcome addition to the fauna of the everglades. Thousands of these non native reptiles have laid waste to the original inhabitants of that fragile and beautiful river of grass and they seem to have no natural enemies. This ecological disaster was solely created by python owners and their' fickle illegal decision to set them free.
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| This does NOT belong in your pants! |
A story just last week gave further proof to my contention that only a short bus rider would want to consider a snake as a suitable pet candidate. A Portland, Oregon pet store captured a local dimwit--and, by the way, Portland has no shortage of dimwits--stuffing a two foot long python down his pants just prior to strolling out the door of the establishment. Thanks to a surveillance camera, the culprit didn't get far and may have accidentally been saved from one of those hard to explain embarrassing emergency room visits. You see, it seems the cute and not so cuddly slithering spawn of Satan was VERY close to feeding time. Ouch!
Granted, if memory serves, for most young guys, any action south of the belt line that doesn't involve limping out of a rectory at three in the morning is generally okay, but this may have been more than the young non- invitee to the Mensa picnic bargained for.
As the great Norman Cousins wisely said, "Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences."
Stick to cats and dogs kid. They won't fit in your pants.
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| Young jughead about to make his move... |
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