Bow Wowie!

"Turn up the Marley mon, and bring me my kibble."

Too bad we no longer live in Nevada and that my kids' dog, Teri, has gone to that big pound in the sky.  Why?

Glad you asked.  Democratic Senator (of course) Tick Segerblom of the Nevada state legislature and the cool name hall of fame is sponsoring a bill that would allow animal owners to get marijuana for their pet if a veterinarian certifies that the animal has an illness that might be alleviated by the drug.


"How are ya feelin' Sam?"  "Boss, I'm sicker than a dog.  How's about you fire me up a spliff."  Yes sir, this might be a bigger boon to the Silver State than legalized dice and slot machines.  If Tick, (what a shame to waste a killer moniker on a democrat), gets his way,  I can see tons of reprobates rolling into the land of Elvis impersonators just to get Fido on the four-legged doobie train.  Soon the desert will be filled with canine cannabis aficionados grooving to Bob Marley tunes and begging for just one more handful of Kibbles & Bits.

"Don' worry mon..I like dogs."

Don't get me wrong, I love dogs.  I've had three good ones and would have one now if the bastards didn't have that bad habit of dying on you just about the time you're getting used to them.  Not that they're a good investment.  These days a dog is easily the most inefficient piggy bank you can own.  Vet bills are through the roof, food is expensive and all an owner gets out of them is a ton of poop that now requires pick-up.  (I miss the old days when the lawn mower took care of that.)

"What? No whiskey?!!"

Since today's topic combines dumbass ideas and getting high, here's another dandy that recently got the green light from Washington: Powdered booze!  The product, Palcohol, no doubt dreamed up over a few cocktails by some hardcore members of the Spiritus Frumenti Club, is now legal in Washington state and is subject to the same restrictions as hard liquor.  This is a BAD idea.  Speaking as a victim of too many attentive bartenders during the twentieth century, my liver is up on blocks for the 21st, the only customers for Palcohol are the dipsomaniacs who live in fear of accidental sobriety.  Powdered booze is the answered prayer of barflies from here to Kalamazoo.  It can be easily concealed and will provide a backseat "pick me up" for most any boring occasion like: work, long plane rides, church, family reunions, and interventions.  The only complaint you'll hear from the rummies who will buy this is that it will only be available in four pre-mixed flavors: cosmopolitan, margarita, vodka and rum.  I predict this stuff won't move off the shelves at the liquor store until until an alcoholic's two best buddies   are introduced in the product line.  Jack Daniels and Jim Beam, are you listening?  This one bares watching.

That's all the news from the substance abuse desk for this week.  If you live in Washington state get ready for a relaxing 12 or 13 cocktail airplane ride thanks to Palcohol and, if you decide to move your dog to Nevada, everything be irie from now on mon.
Bow wow wowie.